I wrote about husbands using dating sites well before the recent Ashley Madison outing. It is not easy to hear that your husband would not have strayed if your . Neither of a couple's expectations are met in a stagnant or declining marriage.
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- How looking at a dating app can ruin your marriage
- How looking at a dating app can ruin your marriage | Daily Mail Online
- Why do men use dating sites and cheat
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I completely agree with you. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt and burden of knowing this and maintain a friendship like everything is just fine and dandy. If she gets mad at me for presenting this information even after I show her proof the screenshots , then she's not the friend for me anyway. I would tell her before she gets pregnant. I wouldn't come at her with screenshots but I would have them in case he deletes them and she wants them.
I would say something like, "so I signed up for a dating site and came across a profile for Matt or whatever. Maybe it's old but he might want to delete it. If she's smart and wants more information I'd probably tell her that you can see when he was last active and then send her a screenshot.
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She might want to sweep it under the rug or she might even know about it you never know what goes on behind closed doors and I wouldn't want her to be weird with me going forward so I'd take her lead from there. If she acts like it's no big deal, I would absolutely move on. Just make sure you get screenshots that show the last login date AND the city. She will probably want to listen to his lies or excuses, so if she has the concrete evidence I really don't have much advice because I'm in a similar predicament I found out recently through my Husband, that one of our friends is cheating on his Wife.
His Wife is my Friend and she just gave birth to their third child 4 months ago. He also cheated on her 5 years ago and made another girl pregnant while his wife was also pregnant with their second Daughter. That child from the affair is now also 5 years old. But through it all, she's stayed by him and even though he raked up some pretty bad gambling debts recently and lost some friends and credibility due to money issues, and things were pretty down and blue for him, she stayed by him. She really is like the perfect Wife.
I don't understand how he could do this to her and it made me cry when I found out. But this really hit me. Knowing all she went through, and now this. I know I could never be the one to tell her. A part of me wishes she never finds out too, but I won't deny, I pray a huge slap comes to her Husband and he wakes the hell up. It's really a terrible thing to know and I truly understand. A part of me hopes she finds out and leaves him. But a part of me knows that even if she found out, she might just forgive him and continue staying. But her heart would be broken. So if that were the case, I hope she never finds out and I hope he changes.
Sorry for hijacking your post with my own story btw! It just all came out after reading yours.
How looking at a dating app can ruin your marriage
Do let us know what you intend to do in the end! I hope your Friend appreciates you and has your back too. I would create a gmail account that is a name but not yours. Then email her a brief description of what you found and the images attached.
How looking at a dating app can ruin your marriage | Daily Mail Online
When you send it, put something in the message line so it's obvious it's not spam. And don't sign it. This way it doesn't upset your friendship if she decides to stay with him because she might be ok with it or not believe it. Tell her what you told us. Ask her to come over to hangout and say "I know it's not really my business but if I were in your shoes I'd want to know. I signed up on a dating website and came across a familiar face so I clicked on it.
Why do men use dating sites and cheat
It was your husband. I thought you should know since you're trying for a family. I wouldn't want you to get pregnant then find this out" then I would pull his account up on my phone and let her see for herself. I would tell her if I was you. Just standing by watching your friend try to get knocked up by her own husband that is cheating on her would be a horrible idea. What happens when she gets pregnant then finds out she has an untreatable STD? What are you going to say? His description is disgusting. He actively trying to impregnate his wife, but he's looking for casual sex?
If she's a good friend of yours and even if she wasn't a good friend , I would would absolutely tell her. Send her the information anonymously. Either through email or a social media message. Create a fake one if you have to but don't tell her as her friend.
It will likely ruin your friendship if you tell her. I have seen this happen to people I know. If they stay with them it's super awkward to remain friends with the person that tells them.
If they break up she may blame you deep down and not even realize it which will strain your friendship. Good luck I hope everything works out the way it is meant to. Unfortunately I was the victim in this exact situation. Married for 5 years to the love of my life, two very small kids and found out through an old friend who was on a dating site that my husband had a profile looking for casual sex as well.
And some might not even consider it cheating. But it is, says Ammanda Major, head of service quality and clinical practice at marriage counselling service Relate. We are seeing so many people now whose relationships are in trouble because one of them has been browsing dating sites. Even if the browser says it was fun, or they had no intention of looking for sex, it is still a form of cheating.
While infidelity is as old as time itself, it is the emergence of dating apps including Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and Happn, which exist in the relative privacy of a smartphone rather than on, say, the family computer, that has become a real relationship hazard and given rise to Generation Swipe. According to a study by London firm GlobalWebIndex, more than four in ten people who use Tinder are already in a relationship.
The app, like many of its ilk, allows users to flick through hundreds of dating profiles — you simply swipe right if you like the look of someone, and left if you are not interested.
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If someone you have swiped right on has done the same with your profile, you are matched, allowing you to start sending each other messages. Of the women who are signed up to Tinder, more than 40 per cent are married.
Few realise the potentially explosive consequences of such virtual window-shopping. Take Siobhan, for example, who realised she had let things go too far when she found herself sitting in a coffee shop just outside Leeds with a man she had started swapping messages with via an app. Married with three children, the year-old hospital administrator had taken a look online during a night out with girlfriends. However, one particular man caught her eye and Siobhan found herself exchanging messages with him over the following weeks.
I was nearly 40 and was this all there was ahead of me? After four months, she agreed to meet the man at a coffee shop.