Warning signs of dating a loser

Warning Signs You're Dating a Loser. Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., Psychologist. Comment (September 27, ). This article was published to the Internet several.
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12 Signs The Guy You’re Seeing Is A Loser Who’s Wasting Your Time | Thought Catalog

Slowly, but surely, he will begin to milk you for all you are worth. He may explain that he has 'cash flow' problems and begin by borrowing small amounts of money. Initially, he may even repay these. A small token gesture which is intended solely to further increase your confidence in lending him larger amounts of money. A loser will view you as his personal ATM and even develop a sense of entitlement to your money,.


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Whatever you do, never, ever lend a loser any money and, most definitely, do not borrow money or co-sign a loan for him. You really do not need financial hardship on top of heartbreak. If you are having problems getting over them, then you should consider implementing a period of no contact. The most important thing to remember is that the problem is not with you.

2. He forces you to change who you are because he makes you feel unaccepted.

You may even discover that your partner has a history of this type of poor behaviour. It is also possible that he has a borderline personality disorder or, worse still, is a narcissist. Ultimately, you will discover that the trouble with dating a loser is that they are not always that easy to get rid of. As soon as you start pulling away, in an attempt to end the relationship, they usually pursue you with renewed vigour. Whilst this may generate feelings in your head that you may have made a mistake, please remember that this is not necessarily a sign that you were wrong.


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  • 7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser;

Just ensure that you see the loser for the person he actually is, not the person you want him to be. So I started talking to a boy in school. We are coming to the end of the term. We seem very close. I told him that I liked him, and he blushed. He takes my pencil and won't give it back until I shake his hand; but most of the time, it's more like holding hands because he holds on and won't let go. Do you think he has any interest in me?

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It sounds as if you are at the beginning of a long life journey that will bring you both pleasure and pain. Perhaps this boy thinks of you as a friend, or maybe as a girlfriend. I honestly cannot tell. The best advice I can give you is to enjoy the attention, but don't let it detract from your studies. Believe me, in ten years time, you won't even remember these events, but your exam results will stay with you for the rest of your life.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the first throes of young love. However, you must stay focused and prioritize what your long-term goals are. All of a sudden, the guy I had been dating confessed that he had been seeing his ex behind my back. Why did he do that? It sounds as if he wanted a way out, or perhaps his ex had given him an ultimatum.

Either way, you're better off without him. Move on and find someone who is more deserving of your love. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I have to give my take. Read about sociopath, psychopath, narcissistic personalities and what victims of these munipulating non-human beings do to a person psychologically, emotionally, financially, spiritually.

I am a counselor and was almost driven to shoot myself. This monster deliberately tried to give me hiv all the while playing on my empathy and love for him, while telling me it was all my fault. It was impossible to tell the the truth from fiction, I questioned my sanity through out. The worst and most eye opening experience of my life. Please, stop insinuating to victims that it is part their fault for being deceived and manipulated.

It is a very painful ordeal and personally I felt like the stupidest person on earth, and got attacked and blamed by his realm of friends and family who are also being manipulated and lied to and don't have a clue. Those statements of blaming someone who has done no wrong and is going through such a moment of questioning their self worth and devastation cam mean the difference between life or death.

I have so many clients I run into who thank me for helping them, can you imagine if a monster like this had gotten his way only to replace good deeds with his evil intent.

9 Signs You’re Dating A Loser You Need To Cut Yourself Loose From

I had no idea such evil people existed in real life. Look up the symptoms of a sociopaths victims, then you will have a small minute glympse of the torment a person was blindly led into. Like the lobster, being put in the pan before it is heated doesn't realize it is being cooked to death to be feasted upon. There was a time in years past that elderly family members had much to say about their young people's choices of mates. Then, more young people listened to them. Now, young people mostly make their own decisions about a mate and marriage without consulting their fathers, mothers and grandparents.

It is true that we are responsible for our own happiness, but that includes being responsible and sensible enough to listen to wisdom and people who love us and have always looked out for us when we could not help ourselves. A good, loving father or brother is usually able to assess the reliability of a daughter's chosen partner.

The one thing we do agree on DashingScorpio is that we are all ultimately responsible for our own happiness. The point I was trying to get across is that sometimes it is easier for someone on the "outside" to gain a better perspective of situations than someone who is entangled in the middle of it. You offer some excellent points in this hub. However I would have to slightly disagree with you about the problem not being "you" in the article.

I realize we live in an era where everyone wants to point the finger at someone else or anything else when it comes to dealing with issues. The truth is each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is no getting around that one. He does not make it to dinner with your parents after you told him how important it is to you. You end up at the couples night alone.

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The rain checks are just intolerable. Let him go honey. January February March April May June July August September October November December 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 He keeps telling you what to do. He directs you all the time.

12 Signs The Guy You’re Seeing Is A Loser Who’s Wasting Your Time

He gets really angry when you are not in the mood and even tries to force you into it. He does not cuddle you. He seems to be against your success. He hates your boss and thinks he wants you. He does not give you ideas with anything just keeps telling you how dumb your ideas are. He does not like your hobbies and how good you are at them. He thinks you should stop singing in the shower. He keeps calling to check on you.

He becomes suddenly nice after he has been mean on purpose. You will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship. With severe behavior problems, "The Loser" will be found to have almost no friends, just acquaintances. Emotionally healthy and moral individuals will not tolerate friendships with losers that treat others so badly.

If you find yourself disliking the friends of "The Loser", it's because they operate the same way he or she does and you can see it in them. You will quickly find yourself "walking on eggshells" in their presence - fearful to bring up topics, fearful to mention that you spoke to or saw a friend, and fearful to question or criticize the behavior of "The Loser".

Instead of experiencing the warmth and comfort of love, you will be constantly on edge, tense when talking to others they might say something that you'll have to explain later , and fearful that you'll see someone you'll have to greet in public. Dates and times together will be more comfortable and less threatening when totally alone - exactly what "The Loser" wants - no interference with their control or dominance. As the relationship continues and you begin to question what you are feeling or seeing in their behavior, you will be told that your feelings and opinions don't make sense, they're silly, and that you are emotionally disturbed to even think of such things.

They Make You "Crazy" "The Loser" operates in such a damaging way that you find yourself doing "crazy" things in self-defense. If "The Loser" is scheduled to arrive at 8: You become paranoid as well - being careful what you wear and say. Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation. In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. While we think we are "going crazy" - it's important to remember that there is no such thing as "normal behavior" in a combat situation.

Rest assured that your behavior will return to normal if you detach from "The Loser" before permanent psychological damage is done. There are more severe if not dangerous versions of "The Loser" that have been identified over the years. If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself.

Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving - shoving, pushing, forcing, etc.


  1. 1. He makes you feel bad for having faults and weaknesses..
  2. 2. He Blows Hot and Cold.
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    4. That quickly moves into verbal threats with physical gestures - the finger in the face, clinched fist in the face, and voiced physical threats such as "You make me want to break your face!