Online dating rejection etiquette

What should you say to an online dating match that you no longer want to date? How can you reject someone without feeling guilty. Just be polite.
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I only give out my number after specific arrangements have been made to meet. There is no way I would friend an online dating person on Facebook before meeting them. You need plausible deniability if the date doesn't go well! Re what to do with these people now that you're stuck with them -- I would just tell them straight up. Or make up an elaborate lie. It's not like you actually know them. Unfriend the person you unwisely friended on Facebook. It seems perfectly normal to me to text with someone you meet online. If I plan a date with someone for a week in the future and we trade numbers, then why wouldn't we talk via text before the date?

It's weird to schedule a date and completely stop speaking until the date itself, in my opinion. But, if you don't like these people and don't want to talk to them again and have never met them, just don't answer the texts. I really don't think "I'm not interested in you" messages are ever helpful or "nicer" than just not responding. It either starts an argument or causes hurt feelings.

If they're really really persistent after you ignore them, you might have a stalker-type problem, but most people can take a hint. The thing about not responding is that lots of people aren't married to their phones but might still be happy to message with these people. It is far easier to just express disinterest than to put people through the guessing game of trying to decide if you're disinterested or busy. Disinterested does not hurt anybody less because you were passive about expressing it. This isn't the norm but it also isn't weird--everybody has their own way of communicating and it's all easier if we're forthright with each other.

No one has ever tried that with me on OKCupid. I'm 30 and have been on OKC for quite some time, and I'm also female and mostly date other female people. I only give out my phone number when we're making plans to meet, and I try to make plans to meet pretty quickly after exchanging messages specifically because I don't like the back-and-forth with people I haven't met. There are people who are emotionally volatile, needy, socially somewhat clueless, etc. It's not your role to provide care or support for such random people you had a brief contact with.

I think it's useful to contact the persistent texter and say I do not want to have a relationship with you. Please stop contacting me. Any contact after that is stalker-y. Block the person on text and facebook. Casual contact on a dating site does not incur any obligation other than civility and reasonable honesty.

I think it's kinder and more effective to tell them you're not interested in pursuing a relationship, but you don't have justify this. The deeper the relationship, the more effort you put into ending it.

Rejection in Online Dating

These relationships are quite shallow. I don't know, terrified of online dating, so I'll watch the thread. This is not an online dating problem as much as it is an Ask vs Guess problem. You may be astounded, but you are writing back so they have no way of knowing the contact is unwelcome. Just tell them you're not interested, wish them luck dating, and then ignore any future contact. When I saw that Gary had called, I was thrilled. Since going on one Match. Usually, these were sporadic and at odd hours.

With heart palpitating, I played his voicemail message. My mother's in town.

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Prior to that, I spent five years having odd, incomprehensible, maddening, and deeply disheartening encounters like the one with Gary. I'd like to blame this on a bunch of assholes, but that's not the case. Aside from Gary including him? Sometimes I'd get an email from someone who was exasperated by my own flaky behavior. Apparently, I was just as careless!

Man handles online dating rejection by being polite and the world is shocked

With no agreed-upon etiquette, all of us did what we could get away with, or we emulated others. If my loved ones currently in the digital dating world are any measure, things have gotten no better since I took myself off these sites. To help my friends, and anyone else, I've come up with a handful of tips regarding web romance decorum. Is my advice subjective? But in doing research for a book on sex, I've also learned a lot about the mating habits of our species.

Online Dating Etiquette: Five Tips No One Will Tell You | HuffPost

Another inspiration for these recommendations is the way I was courted by my husband, which was exemplary. Then again, he teaches ethics. I think we can agree that the person paying on a date should not be your mother. But if not her, who? Should it be one individual, or do you go Dutch? My opinion is this: If a same-sex couple is meeting for the first time, one of you should assume full financial responsibility.

In similar hetero situations, the man should pay. To them I reply, "If you're offended by this old-fashioned custom, then don't be shy about whipping out your wallet instead. Once I have done that, and I have crafted a personalized message, checked my grammar, checked appropriateness, checked for good taste, and send it over.

I understand not everybody will like me and jump immediately to reply. We all have our own types, and likes, and dislikes. So, whenever I receive an interest email from a woman who I do not find attractive, or does not fit my criteria, I simply politely reply, thank you, but not interested, and wish you luck. It is only a couple of seconds.

That is all what is necessary. When I receive those, which I have, I understand they have read my email, I am not guessing what is on her mind, and she said no. I move on to the next one, and do not bother her anymore. I only initiated few emails, and I had received no response at all.


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But it became backfire for me, since those guys would keep chasing me, sending emails. Other online situation, other that online dating, I still believe that giving a reply is obligatory. I found this site helpful as I started online dating within the past month. I find that it goes either way with category 2 men: At times I have really enjoyed initial chats, but ultimately decide to close that door, and these men seem to have a decent level of etiquette and no WWIII occurs….

My focus is the men of category 1 and 3: It has always, always, devolved into a back-and-forth, ending with me blocking them: This man, however, clearly thought of himself as a catch: I indicated that, having been open to this dating style in the past, I was clearly neither making assumptions nor against the process. I simply reiterated I respected his process and I should hope that he could respect mine, as we both created our process from our past experiences.

I again thanked him for keeping the dialogue respectful, and wished him the best as we go our separate ways. Hoping I would not have to hear from him again, he replied three messages worth: I think about these types of men and how they would treat a woman in public, or in private.

So, in sum, I agree—no message is the online version of averting the gaze, to show disinterest. Once I messaged back such a suitor and he took umbrage to the point of continuing to send me sarcastic, insulting messages so that I had to block him. Guys have passed me over and a few have explained that I was too old even though they were my age or older and they had no stated age criteria or too thin.

I am a prize for any man looking for a petite, fit, educated, financially self sufficient woman in my age group. I could pass myself off as 10 or more years younger, in fact, but some guys seem to have very high opinions of themselves. However, when it is my turn, I have the right to discriminate as well. It is only when it comes to our romantic partners and friends that we are free to be biased, arbitrary, and to favor based on any personal preferences.

That works both ways, though.


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