He is a straight man but he values the real love over sex and would not push " The best part about dating as an asexual is that when you find.
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Students reveal all here Start new discussion Reply. Follow 1 As an asexual woman in a relationship with someone who identifies as heterosexual who is also a man , I'm in a pretty good position compared to a lot of the other people in the asexual community. I'm interested in whether any of you would date asexual people, and if not, why not? Would you be interested in a relationship with one further down the line?
Is sex an important part of a relationship for you? Would you be comfortable never having sex in a romantic relationship, or waiting a long time to do so, especially as a teenager? What about if you were married?
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If you are also asexual, would you ever date a sexual person? Do you think you could find someone who would be willing to accommodate you and what you need and don't want from a relationship?
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Please take the time to read up on what asexuality is if you're not sure - just to eliminate any preconceptions you might have: There may not be many of us, but we do exist. Also, I'm not here to answer personal questions about my relationship, and if I do have sex or not. That isn't important, and frankly, it's my own business, not yours. I'm a little unsure on this. I'm heterosexual but since I started on the pill a couple of years ago, I noticed a drop in my sex drive. When I met my boyfriend and we were physically together, the presence of him made my sex drive return to normal, but because we are long-distance, I'm just not that interested in being sexual more than once or twice a month.
This is why I'm unsure, because I'm not a very sexual person. I'm happy to go without being sexual for a month, yet I still have that desire for it so I'm not sure if I could be with someone asexual, because I would still want some occasionally. As a hetero man, I would. Download from Apple or Google Play. It feels like asexual people view others as super horny individuals who want sex all the time and always act on attraction. I think millions of people are actually asexual, they just haven't thought about putting a label on it or thought they were different.
If anything, it would be nice and fun to have a relationship with less sex and more just enjoying each other's company. But I don't feel the need to label myself as anything - I am who I am. Original post by EllieCeeJay As an asexual woman in a relationship with someone who identifies as heterosexual who is also a man , I'm in a pretty good position compared to a lot of the other people in the asexual community.
Nerry Follow 9 followers 15 badges Send a private message to Nerry. Follow 5 Follow 6 Original post by Anonymous I'm a little unsure on this. Follow 7 No, how is that possible for someone who wants sexual contact and someone who doesn't? Original post by EllieCeeJay The pill is associated with low sex drive - so if you did want to regain that then it would be as simple as switching contraceptives maybe to a non-hormonal one?
They can all affect you in different ways.
Ladies, could you date an asexual guy? : AskWomen
I understand what you mean, though - I think for people that do want or need to be sexual it's quite a challenge. Although, some asexual people are chill with having sex, although maybe just occasionally, and you can still have a sex drive and be asexual too.
Follow 9 This same thread topic again? Follow 10 Original post by Anonymous It feels like asexual people view others as super horny individuals who want sex all the time and always act on attraction. Follow 11 Original post by yudothis No, how is that possible for someone who wants sexual contact and someone who doesn't? Follow 12 Original post by EllieCeeJay Speaking from experience, you just need to find someone who's understanding enough to look past that and deprioritise sex in favour of a purely romantic relationship. Masturbation is a thing, you know.
You don't have to have sexual contact to be in a relationship. All you really need for a relationship as a sexual person with an asexual person is boundaries, love, respect, and communication. Follow 13 Original post by yudothis That's friendship. Follow 14 Instead, you flipped some paranoia switch and decided I called you an a-hole. I am not anti sexual. Do feel free to point out where I said this exactly. I'm wondering about this, too, since I've finally decided that I think I'm going to tell my best friend I've developed romantic feelings for him when I see him in a few weeks If I were you, I would tell him both at the same time and explain the reason you are telling him about your assexuality is because you have feelings for him.
Also make it clear that whatever you both decide, you want to still remain friends. You just needed to get it off your chest. Definitely before the date. I mean, if I were a lesbian and a guy asked me out on a date, shouldn't I tell him I'm only into chicks before he buys me dinner? I assume that not many sexuals are going to want to pursue a relationship with me, so I feel like I need to deal the a-card right out of the gate so it doesn't seem like I just wanted someone to take me out. If they know I'm ace and still want to go out, then everything's cool.
I would agree that if it's a friend you're dating, the sooner the better. If it's a stranger, I think waiting until you feel comfortable sharing something this personal is okay, but also agree that you shouldn't wait too long. I didn't really know I was ace until about 4 or 5 months into my relationship with my first boyfriend, and it was so hard to come out to him when we were that far into it.
It also made me scared that he would stay with me out of obligation rather than actually being okay with it. Everything worked out fine, but yeah, I wish I had been able to come out wayyyy sooner. Since I didn't know I was ace, I didn't really have a choice, but I just like to share my little story to show that as scary as it can be, coming out sooner is usually I hesitate to say always since there may be some exceptions, but I really can't think of any best.
If you're comfortable doing it before the first date, I think that's more than fine, but if you're not comfortable with that I really do think it's okay to wait a bit. I know I don't feel comfortable enough to tell a practical stranger that I'm ace, so I would definitely not be able to do it so soon. And it's not like you owe them sex or they should expect it One date -- or a couple of dates -- isn't going to hurt them if that's what you need to feel okay about coming out.
But yeah, sooner is better than later. Considering that sexuals usually feel that a "date" means that sometime in the future, sex will happen, a couple of dates could indeed be unfair to you both. It doesn't get any easier the more you wait.
Maybe there's no exact rule about this. I don't date strangers at all so I'm pretty much out in friend stage even if they don't ask me out lol not all my friends do that!! My advice is to come out as soon as you can. It gets harder if you wait longer. What's the point of getting emotionally attached to someone only to find out that asexuality is their deal breaker? You will only end up hurting yourself and the people you date.
Honesty is the best policy: I've joined this thread because my daughter may be ace, too, and I would like to be able to advise her if she asks. Even many of the sexuals on Aven took a while to really understand. I understood rather quickly because I had been married and experiencing a mixed relationship for many years before I knew what it was. And, yet, I am still learning about it. Caution and communication should be a constant in early relationships.
There are lots of good thoughts on this thread and I think what Sally posted above is very good advice. Communication and making sure everything is still OK and boundaries are clear should be a constant in any relationship - early or not. This is a topic that has been bothering me lately. Having only had sex once, and obviously feeling disconnected and uncomfortable, though it was with the right person and someone I loved, I'm potentialy willing to try it again in later relationships, though I'm worried about what I'd do after that experience if it comfirmed my complete disinterest in ever having sex again.
It's a tricky one Just say something like "I have tried it once, I didn't like it. I am willing to try again, but I cannot promise anything.
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Honesty is the best policy. If they are disappointed later on, at least you warned them it was a possibility. Thank you for replying! That's true, honesty is best, though I know it's a particularly tricky situation, and possibly quite baffling for someone unused to the concept. So to sum up: I guess I just feel weird about it because I'm still a teenager and I feel like sex isn't as large of a part of a relationship when you're younger, but I suppose I am close to being 20 and I suppose most of the people I hang out with don't have sex so it just seems weird to bring it up.
I guess we'll see. I think this is great advice. I guess the toughest part is knowing at what stage to tell someone. Well, even if your partner isn't going to want sex next week, or next year, it's something they will likely want eventually. If you end up waiting until you feel a "future" is happening they can feel hurt, confused, betrayed and lied to. So, still best to get it out there. However, I wonder where you live where at nearly 20 sex isn't a big deal? It's all the year olds talked about at my college. I would say you should at least tell your date of your sexuality by the 2nd or 3rd.
If you can't find a way or don't feel comfortable telling them during those times periods then I guess you could wait longer and casually bring it up in a conversation. Asexual Relationships Search In. Help fund AVEN's servers!