Advice on dating your best friends ex

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been hanging out with a close friend's ex- girlfriend, platonically, after we ran into each other at Starbucks.
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It almost feels especially wrong to vent about your boyfriend to your friend when they used to date. Your boyfriend will feel teamed up on anytime you and your friend disagrees with him. In fact, it will probably always make him a little worried if and when you run to your friend during a fight with him.

Dating Your Best Friends Ex

He has received oral from both of you, and can compare and contrast. Damnit—he better not be comparing and contrasting! And then she will tell you about the time she went to Vegas with your now boyfriend when he was her boyfriend. It will all be a little too Freaky Friday. And at your last house party?

This is the same ex that your friend was once crying about to her family after a breakup. Some friends will even become detectives, looking for clues your friend is actually not okay with this. It can be very hard for many people to accept that this is a pain-free situation.

Wait - Is It Ever Acceptable To Date Your Friend's Ex?

Your friend and your boyfriend broke up for a reason. Those dynamics may come out again, and if you ask for all of you to spend time together, they may bicker.


  • It’s never OK to date your friend’s ex, and this is why | Metro News!
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In other words, your best friend may not like your boyfriend very much. No matter how you do the math, there will be two exes sitting at the table when you all go on double dates. That can be a lot to handle for the men your friend goes out with and, the truth is, you did that to her. Because she used to tell you about it! Can I get away with dating my friend's ex? Will he be able to handle this?

This is a tough one, because dating a friend's ex is one of the most essential dating taboos. Which is that people never really get over significant romantic relationships. I don't mean that you can never be happy again after breaking up with someone.

Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex? - National | glohi.xsrv.jp

Of course you can. But it's largely a matter of compartmentalizing. You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting. You get a new life so you don't spend all your time sitting around and crying about your old one like the baby you are. Sure, people will talk about their old relationships and say that they're "over it" or that it "wasn't meant to be," or pepper you with other related nonsense phrases, but what they mean is they're not thinking about it right now.

All of those old wounds stick around, just waiting to be re-opened. You're always going to feel weird when you see your ex, at least a little bit. If you're still friends with your ex , it wasn't that serious, or it's still serious. And, if you date your friends' ex, you're telling your friend that your romantic feelings are more important than their happiness. Because they're going to see you holding hands with their ex, and remember how nice that felt, and if you think they won't envision you having sex together, you're being naive.

Of course, that's going to hurt. Inherently, it's a selfish thing. You're saying, "screw you and your silly emotions, I've got to get laid. Does this mean you should never, ever date a friend's ex? It means that it's a bad idea, but that's not the same as "never do it. It's possible that you've got an uncommon romance on your hands. Maybe this is your future wife, or muse, or whatever it is that you're looking for. If this is the case, you'd be missing out on years of potential passion if you passed up on this girl for the sake of sparing your friends' feelings.

Like I said, this is a tough one. You've got a hell of a decision to make. Accordingly, you should treat this like any other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible. First, be real with yourself. Is this girl really special to you? Is there actually an uncommon reaction between you — some sort of deep compatibility that's worth alienating your friend for?

Dating Your Friend's Ex

Or is she just an attractive person who finds you attractive, too? Those two things are so, so easily confused. Approach these questions with the maximum possible skepticism about yourself. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind.


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    4. If you're currently lonely and you really need to get laid, consider that maybe you're just desperate. And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits.