Dating someone with borderline

If you are considering starting a relationship with someone with BPD, symptoms have affected your dating life and romantic relationships.
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Oftentimes, it's confused with Bipolar Disorder, which is characterized by more extreme, fast mood swings. So to answer the question you may be thinking right now: No, not everyone who is diagnosed with BPD is admitted into a mental ward, but that doesn't mean it's not a difficult mental illness with which to live—particularly when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

While any mental illness can take a toll on relationships, BPD is often thought to take the cake when it comes to making dating difficult. One of the main symptoms of BPD is an intense fear of abandonment. It makes it hard because borderlines tend to attach to people very quickly, and then any type of separation or breakup is very devastating. Borderline sufferers carry around the weight of frequently feeling misunderstood. New Jersey resident Corinne, 26, was diagnosed with the disorder seven years ago.

McKeon agrees that these are common misjudgments. Corinne explains, "Sometimes it comes up naturally in conversation toward the beginning of things, if we're discussing mental health. The person with BPD can make you feel loved, needed, wanted, and elated because they want your attention, but also want to make you the center of their world. The Clinger Phase: As the person with Borderline Personality Disorder becomes more attached to you, you will notice changes over time. They may seem small at first, but they will slowly become apparent.

Their mood swings will become even more extreme and noticeable now, and all of their pain and suffering will be blamed on you, once again feeding the victim mentality.


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Signs Your Partner Has BPD Those phases are anecdotal in nature, but give a picture of what going through a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder might be like. Before it gets that far, however, here are some things you can look out for to see if your partner has BPD and if they need help: Excessive Mood Swings: Is your partner overly excited one day, only to be followed by a deep bout of depression the next?

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This could be characterized by extreme changes in opinion, such as one day everyone loves them, the next day everyone hates them. Excessive Behavior: Going along with the mood swings, does your partner engage in compulsive behavior, such as lavish spending sprees for no particular reason, impulsive needs to go on sudden trips, or even bouts of self-harm?

#1: Avoid The Honeymoon Period

Their symptoms and behaviors are indications of a psychiatric disorder, and they need treatment. In the past few years, celebrities like Demi Lovato and Catherine Zeta-Jones have bravely opened up about their own struggles with bipolar disorder. Not long ago, experts in the field of psychology believed BPD to be an untreatable illness, and therapists even refused to accept patients with the diagnosis.

#2: Fantasies and Seeking Perfection

Then, in the s, Linehan introduced a revolutionary treatment called dialectical behavior therapy, a cognitive-behavioral treatment that emphasizes a strong and equal relationship between patient and therapist. Marsha Linehan developed dialectical behavior therapy, one of the first effective treatments for BPD. There currently is no FDA-approved medication for BPD, and so patients with the condition are usually treated with medication that targets their co-occurring disorders, such as depression, anxiety and eating disorders.

Medications commonly prescribed to BPD patients include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, such as Prozac and Lexapro; or serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, such as Effexor.

When Your Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Multiple studies have linked decreased serotonin activity with impulsive aggressiveness and depression in people with BPD, according to Kreisman and Straus, so patients who strongly exhibit those symptoms respond most positively to SSRIs. A study by Mary Zanarini and her colleagues followed approximately former inpatients with BPD for 10 years, interviewing them at two-year intervals to assess the severity of their illness and determine whether or not they had improved.

The results: Nearly seven out of every eight patients achieved symptom remission lasting at least four years, and half no longer met the criteria for borderline personality disorder. Despite the obstacles and challenges, recovering from BPD is very possible, even likely, based on the stats I mentioned earlier. The patient has to realize, though, that even with medication, recovery is a tough process that requires hard work and change.


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However, they can be developed, especially with the proper help, and as you achieve small and large successes, failures become less common. Gunderson and Perry D.