4 Red Flags When Dating Someone Younger Than You Are To then you could be in for some trouble down the line if you don't communicate.
Table of contents
- Commitment issues.
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- The Pros and Cons of Dating a Younger Man
- 5 Things I Learned From Dating A (Much) Younger Man | HuffPost
We've all heard of the half-plus-seven rule: Divide your age by half and add seven years to get the minimum acceptable age for your romantic partner. Going by the popular formula, year-olds should not be with anyone younger than 22, year-olds should go for people who are at least 27, and so on. But how many people follow this rule?
Commitment issues.
Well, now we have at least one important source for this data: First, here is a graph of the acceptable dating range for each age using the half-plus-seven rule, illustrated by data blogger Randal Olson: The biggest takeaway from this graph is that, for the most part, OkCupid men stay just barely within the range prescribed by the half-plus-seven rule. What does this mean? Obviously, the so-called "zone of non-creepiness" is not a hard-and-fast rule; when you are adults of consenting age, no one's going to punish you for violating this arbitrary guideline.
Still, it's worth noting that at every age level, "men aren't even close to reaching the upper bound of the zone of non-creepiness," as Olson points out. Of course, it's hard to tell from these graphs how serious of a relationship these men are looking for.
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As with all things, the half-plus-seven rule is better used as a rule of thumb than a strict law. But even so, if you keep skirting the accepted minimum, you might consider widening the pool to older potential partners. My boyfriend and I are not immune to the effects of these judgments.
Just a month ago, we had to have another talk about whether or not we should stay together or break up — simply because of the pressure put on us from hearing so many critical opinions about our relationship. It amazes me that even as the world seems to be progressing and we're now openly embracing many life choices, most of us still aren't comfortable with age differences in relationships. There are days when the weight of it all leaves me immobilized, sad, and unable to focus on anything.
The Pros and Cons of Dating a Younger Man
So, how do I cope when the judgments become overwhelming? I have learned a few things to help me get by, and to remind me that our love is worth fighting for:. I am aware that people often judge what they do not understand. This is not the choice someone else may have made, they may have gone down a different path, or chosen a different type of partner. I know that this is something for them to process, and not for me to have to explain.
5 Things I Learned From Dating A (Much) Younger Man | HuffPost
Their fear over our choice to be together in actual fact has nothing to do with our loving relationship and us — it is their problem to solve. In times when I ask if it is all worth it, I look at him and know that I have found the person I do not want to live without. He is the kindest, most compassionate, funniest individual I have ever encountered.
Those are the times when I want to hug him tighter, tell him I love him, and just show the world that this can and will be a love for as long as we are lucky enough to have each other. I now realize that it is not my role to win over family, friends, or anyone else who may wish to make a statement about our relationship. When I read or see negative behavior toward me, I sometimes want to scream and cry.
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Moreover, I often want to hide away — to avoid family functions, social outings, and not have to face people eye to eye. But I know that hiding, crying and shouting does no good; I must show up as myself, courageously and yet graciously, and be the best person I can be. For those of you reading: Be a catalyst for change: And for those readers who are in a similar position and find your relationship judged because of religion, race, sexual orientation, age, or something else, be proud of what you have.
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