Is courting better than dating

Today's guest blog is from relationship coach Janet Ong Zimmerman, who makes a very good case for returning to a more traditional form of romance: courtship.
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The same applies to individuals.. Dating relationships do not last because they're moved by emotions rather than the will to love the other. Whereas courtship is not moved by feelings but the will to love the other person,.. Emotions, romance, feelings all come with marriage.. Not before marriage because then that opens doors other things. When a person is married, then the two can show any feelings emotions romances and anything else all they want..

But if they're not married, then nothing but study, observations, accountability and a willingness to love.. Fifth, I understand what your saying about my parents, but to be honest with you I've had my share of dating and believe me they did me nothing good but left agonizing pain and hurts.

So my parents have gone way deep to share with me about culture and traditions, but I'm the one who encouraged my parents to help me find a husband so that I can leave home. And they are doing just that. Just recently, my Dad bought a necklace that has two parts of it..


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One is a necklace of a heart with a key design on it and the other necklace is a key. He gave me the heart necklace and kept the key necklace.. The hearts words on it says, "He who holds the key can unlock my heart".. This was a promise that Once my parents find someone for me and if I see this key necklace around his neck and if I approve of him I will willingly take his hand in marriage.. My parents aren't being over protective they're guiding and helping me.. This also takes a lot of trust on my end.. As any child who would permit their parents to do such a thing as I'm doing..

It also shows the parents how much you trust them and love them and care what they think.. Lastly, you said this, "That said, you're not alone. The child may not even want to be a part of their parents lives.. Both sides are selfish and Biblically wrong.. And Yes, experiences are necessary for us to learn and grow from, but if someone has already experienced something and is trying to help out by giving advice then maybe it should be considered and taken..

I would know because my last relationship was the worst I ever had.. My parents kept telling me and telling me that this was wrong and you know what they were right because the guy just left like I didn't even matter..


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Heeding to parents counsel is being obedient and honoring and loving them.. Report this Argument Con Thank you too.

To be clear, I'm not criticizing parents for lacking omniscience. I'm saying their experience should be built on top of, not fallen back onto. As I said before, parents should teach their children about human nature. From there, children can experience and experiment on their own. It's not necessarily about doing the same or different. It's just about providing information that children can use for their own understanding.

Regarding lust, I agree. Love is caring plus lusting. However, without lust, intimacy is just another friendship, and it doesn't satisfy one's emotions. Even your Christian position seems rather restricted. I'm not familiar with Catholics who treat intimacy the way you do.

The Difference Between Courtship & Dating | Dating Tips

They recognize that emotions are to be embraced rather than snuffed out. Puritanism has never been a Catholic ideal.

This doesn't mean to be reckless or careless. It just means to recognize feelings for what they are. As long as you handle them responsibly, it's OK for them to be satisfied. You shouldn't fight what feels natural. On the other hand, you don't let it take you over either. Do you stop loving people after you breakup?

Courtship is way better than dating!

Kind of, but not really. When people breakup, they remember each other for better or worse. If it's a good breakup, you care about the person and similar personalities into the future. If it's not, you don't. Your heart always feels a little tied down to the person as well, but that's part of growing up - learning from experience. If you're trying to preserve perfect sensitivity, you're likely setting yourself up for disaster since no relationship is perfect. Also, you're being a little bit selfish since the world will not accommodate your sensitivity perfectly. The world isn't just yours.

It's everyone's, so everyone's sensitivities have to be dealt with. I agree that dating relationships don't last, but experiencing them is part of organically assimilating into society. That way, you learn to get along with others. Are you afraid that if you date, you won't be able to be responsible because your emotional sensitivity will get out of control? To be clear, I understand what you mean about your previous relationship going awry. It's called "bad boy syndrome".

You find someone interesting because someone teases you, and eventually, someone lets you go because someone never really cared. I've actually argued with feminists a lot about this, and they even accuse me of endorsing courtship such that children couldn't find out for themselves who they love. What I'm telling you is you need to look out for people who are well-rounded. If you want to find someone worthwhile, you need to have a sense of self-respect in not looking for someone who teases you or needs fixing.

Instead, you need to find someone who compliments your interests and has conviction in life goals. On the other hand, you need to have interests and conviction in life goals yourself. That way, you can blend together instead of one of you being dependent on the other. If you strictly depend on your parents for this, you'll likely end up with the exact opposite of "bad boy syndrome" which is called "nice guy syndrome".

Your partner will be extremely boring, and you won't want to be around him at all even though he's a provider. That will leave you wanting for something more, and as you age starting around 40 years old when menopause strikes , your libido will crave attention which he can't satisfy. Then, your emotions will really get out of control. Through dating, you can experiment to find the balance between bad boys and nice guys and find someone well-rounded. Pro I appreciate your feedback.

First, I agree that yes, its wise for parents to teach their children, but I still think it would be wise even more to heed to the parents counsel so that they may not make any same mistakes they're parents may have made before in their past. Nature is something can be talked about as well, I agree with that. But it would appear that your not seeing how children can actually look at what they're parents say and not do the things they did.

Not exactly sure how you visualize my beliefs as restricted concerning this topic, but its not..

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Its more of being aware and taking precaution. I'm not sure if your referring me to holding to catholic beliefs, because I reassure you that I do not. Calvinism and Puritanism is more of my beliefs Reformed Christian. I do not know if your familiar with either of these.

Again, love is not something you feel off of.. Its that the cause that's just as you said, "lust". Very strong sexual desire. Have a very strong sexual desire for someone. So lust in basic terms literally means that you covet someone for selfish gratifications, pleasures and satisfaction from the other person. I'm sorry, but that is not love. That is being used. Sex is meant for marriage, not to be toyed around with for whenever you feel like it. Also, I appreciate the concern about my doings, but I m going to follow with the Biblical way.

I see no point in dating when all that is going to happen is heart-breaks. And no, it does not matter what kind of guy it is, any guy will be a guy. They all bear some form a relation.

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So to say one i bad and the other is nice With last thoughts of this topic, dating does not teach the person to guard and protect they're heart, whereas courtship does.. Dating does not usually revolve of leading to marriage whereas courtship does.. Thank you for taking the time to have this debate with me.