Dating a guy who is friends with his ex

So your new boyfriend is besties with his ex. That can be tricky, but it's definitely not time to hit the panic button. Real, non-romantic friendships.
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If you want to date someone who nuzzles their ex at dinner parties in front of you, be my guest. I have healthy self-esteem, I really do. For me, being friends with your ex is messy and complicated. It leaves so many stories unfinished and ends uncut. I prefer to have my romantic relationships centered around me: It reminds me too much of Ross and Rachel and many, many other TV characters like them: The delicacy of a new relationship is too evident for me to start it off with feelings of jealousy or distrust.

If you want to be best friends with your ex , you go ahead and do that. Life is hard, but it's better when you're not alone. Sign up for our newsletter and get our Self-Care and Solidarity eBook just because we love you! Skip to main content. How can I possibly focus on strengthening a new relationship when I have an ex dangling in the background? How is someone supposed to compete with that level of intimacy? COuld they just be friends? Is it weird that my boyfriend still talks about his ex to me? I don't know what to do. He told me that his ex texted him saying she needs help because shes having problems with her boyfriend, And i said why are you talking her , why do you even care about her,He also said to not worry because es dating me and she dating someone else.

That doesn't mean that nothing is gonna change because anything can change even if shes dating someone and hes dating me. Me and my boyfriend were together for 5years and recently this august 21 on my birthday my boyfriend talked on his ex on a vidcall. What should I do since day1 till now he still communicates with her ex. His doing everything for me he spend a lot and help me financially, but why is he still communicates with her ex?

Does he really love me or not? Or is he just using me? I dont know what to do. I loved him so much and I'm doing my best to make him happy. I just dont get it why is he still communicates with hix ex secretly. I give him chances twice before same girl same issue, then now Im being blinded again I give him chance for a 3rd time. I loved him so much and I want to let go on him but i have a reasons why I am staying first I loved him 2nd I need him financially because he is the one whos supporting me right now coz Im still a student. And I dont have a relatives both sides that are willig to help me and my family.

I started dating my boyfriend 10 and a half months ago, and in the beginning it was wonderful is very attentive caring loving wanted to give me the world. Although he got jealous when he went into my phone and saw old messages and guys who had dated before who were my friends that I was still talking to he got really upset and told me that I have to stop talking to him or seen them if I was going to be with him.

I agreed and I went ahead and deleted everybody and took them off that was on my phone. But then at another time he saw that all my Facebook friends and on messenger again he got mad and told me that there were some people that were not acceptable to for me to talk to or Facebook so I went ahead and took them off. Then he found out that I had dated my best friend son who is 25 and yes I Iwas He then got upset got mad said how can I be going and visiting my friend when he's there and he probably wants to get in my pants. Well my friend and I stopped being friends because she didn't trust him around her son.

Then about four to five months into a relationship his ex-wife get comes into the picture and says that she wants to get back with him and start texting and calling him frequently. Shave and proceeded to get a DUI because she was so upset that when she went out she called him and got pulled over.

Well after that things got very uncomfortable between me and him because I found out that she was still texting him and he was not stopping it knowing that she still had feelings for him and wanted to rekindle the relationship. I know that they were married for 30 years and that's the excuse he gives me that she is his best friend or one of and that he can stop talking to her and that I'm a bad person for wanting to stop his conversations are knowing that that's the mother of his son and other children that are grown up and that she's the grandmother of his grandchildren to and that it is awful that I would want that.

He called me other names which I won't mention but I felt really bad about it because I felt like he was disrespecting our relationship by keeping in contact with her like that. Well as the time he found out there he would forbid me from going to those stores.

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Well in return I said okay I don't want you going to where she works and also please don't like her post on Facebook or keep posting things back and forth to each other because I knew how she feels about him. First he did do some of it but I found out he was lying to me by still posting things and hiding it from me, then I found out he has bank account with her he says he has it because if in case his son needs anything but I have also seen him use it for other reasons.

They also have credit card together, and she's still gets her mail at his house. I confronted him and asked him if she could change her address and if he could possibly not have things together with her like that because it makes me feel insecure and feel that he's not respecting our relationship. He proceeded to call me a lot of things again and said that he's being a hypocrite.

But then I said to him I did change those things that he was not comfortable with why was it hard for him to do the same and he said that I was asking too much because that's his ex-wife and a good friend of his and he's more comfortable talking to her than with me. On a few occasions he's made comments like I might move her in because it will help me pay for my mortgage or he would say something like why can't you be more like her.

I at this point and so miserable because I love them very much but I am at a Crossroads as to what to do because I want to break up with him or give him an ultimatum but I know what's going to end up happening is I will probably lose in Forever.

5 Important Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Contacts His Ex | PairedLife

He also brings up the fact that I have drank too much on a couple occasions and I think I was doing it to deal with what was going on. He then said to me the he didn't want me coming over as much because I had been disrespectful to him in front of my son by arguing with him. Can someone tell me in my email ridiculous about the demands that I'm asking in regards to his ex-wife or should I be leaving him?

I had always known that they were civil and got along from the start, but it recently turns out they are a bit closer then I thought. But still it kind of confuses me why they are so so close. Does anyone else feel this way? Makes me so sad most days. My bf talks to his ex, apparently every 2 weeks or so. I never did make any ultimatum to him but yesterday she texted him saying she was sad he didn't get her anything for her birthday which was the day before and when I asked him about it he admitted then that she called 2 weeks prior, and 2 weeks prior to that and so on and that when she calls she says I'm not good enough for him which I know already because he tells me daily anyhow and that he should dump me and so on and so forth.

He says its perfectly ok and it doesn't bother him that she spends a lot of time trashing me.

I normally just suffer in silence when I hear from folks that USED to be my friends who say they don't want to talk to me because she said this or that. So when I found all this out, I felt it was just too disprespectful and asked him to have her stop reaching out to him. Then when I beg for what I think is just a little bit more respectful behavior he gets angry and tells me that I am a rotten person and that there is nothing good to me at all, and that she is better than me and he goes on tells me my parents hate me and are ashamed of me from heaven.

I am not rich and I have to drive an hour each way to see him every day. Occassionally he comes to see me now and help me with my house, but the vast majority of the time I am spending 4, 5, on gas and tolls to see him and so now his latest rage at me was because I can't save any money. I am not rich. But I managed to buy my own house with my own money and never took a dime from anyone to get it. It's humble, but I'm still proud--my mom died when I was 15 and I was on my own after that. I fought hard from the brink more than once when I was 15, and again when my company filed bankruptcy many years later.

Dating Someone Who is Friends with their Ex

I've always worked fulltime, many times two jobs and now I spend money like it's going out of style to pay a petsitter when I go to see him and for my gas and stuff Am I really an awful person? Or her telling him to dump me? Or should I just suck it up because there will be fewer insults and hurtful comments to endure? Any insight would be appreciated. So its fathers day today and my boyfriend got a text from his ex-saying happy fathers day.

After he replied he wasn't a father, She said "Well I use to call you daddy" and she laughed. And all he did was laugh with her. What do I do? I'm with this guy and we really love each other but he still talks to a multitude of him exes and it really bothers me. He had this one ex he reallllyyyy loved and she cheated on him and he was devastated by this but he's still keeping tabs on her and lurking and talking to her and I'm thinking if she hurt you that badly and you wanted nothing to do with her, why are you still obsessed?

I'm extremely paranoid and suffer from bad anxiety so it's had for me not to make up scenarios in my head about what is going on or what could go on. I just met this guy eight months now but I have failed to know what he really wants because he says he loves me and he does everything for me but then he still talks and meets his exs he has more than 5 and he is still in touch with them. One day I asked him about it and he told me that they are just friends but I feel insecure. My bf went to see his ex gf. She called him to help her out on things. My bf didnt tell me on the same day it happened.

He told me the next day, on top of that he told me his ex gf did give him some hugs, trying to be touchy. After 2 weeks, again this happened. My bf onlt told me the next day. Guess what, this time his ex gf when naked in front of him after her shower. He told me nothing happen and they even went out together after the naked incident.


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Does this consider my bf is cheating on me? He said that he's not lying nor not cheating.

Dating Your Ex’s Best Friend

I feel betray and like a fool. Its really uncomfortable and one day caught him staring at her and he is so mad when i confronted him.

What to Do When Your Boyfriend Still Talks to His Ex

I can feel also that my friend still have feelings for my bf. What should i do.. Sorry my english is not that good bear with me He calls his ex to his house and ask her to do his washing of which his ex ended up burning my stuffs. I felt fishy about my boyfriend so I looked through his phone.