If you're serious about getting serious, without a doubt, you should. Interests are the most changeable thing about you. You will go through life picking up one.
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- 9 Reasons People With Different Interests Make The Romantic Couples | Thought Catalog
- My girlfriend and I have no common interests
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So hey, sitting in front of the TV it is. If your boyfriend is a total and complete workaholic and he never wants to relax with you on a Sunday afternoon, that might be a problem. Okay, that might be a really big problem. It's not enough to see him weeknights and Friday and Saturday nights if you really want to get closer, be in a really serious relationship, and share your life together.
It's not that you should tell him to quit his job or stop trying to be successful because that would be pretty lame. And of course, you want to be successful, too. And working some weekends is totally fine and even necessary. It's hard in this day and age to not do that every once in a while.
9 Reasons People With Different Interests Make The Romantic Couples | Thought Catalog
Ask your boyfriend if he could possibly scale back a tiny bit so he can focus more on you if that's what is important to you. People always talk about morals and values and how important that is when you're trying to find a partner, and it's honestly true. If you and your boyfriend don't see eye-to-eye when it comes to those things -- particularly political issues and societal problems -- well, you might want to think about breaking up. Your beliefs and perspective definitely mean a lot to you and they're actually who you are.
You believe those things and you should never stop. It's tricky to date someone who believes the opposite of you, especially if he seems like a decent guy in general but unfortunately doesn't seem to get it when it comes to morals and values. It's okay if your boyfriend's parents are divorced and if yours have always been super happily married. That's definitely not grounds for dumping him.
But it's not going to be tons of fun if you really believe in family and your boyfriend just doesn't. He won't want to hang out with your own, and he will probably give you a hard time when you try to get him to. That's just not going to be much fun. Sure, if you take weekends off and your BF never stops working, that's a real issue. But the same thing goes with your work ethic. On the flip side, if you have an amazing work ethic and you are striving to become something super successful and your boyfriend is super lazy and just doesn't care about his own career, that's not a match made in heaven.
Eventually, you're going to resent him for not putting enough effort and energy into his own work life, and eventually, he might feel that way about you too since he's going to think that you're judging him. And well, you kind of are, whether or not you mean to. It's really great when you and your boyfriend have the same kind of vacation ideas.
If you both love to relax and chill out, then a beach trip is pretty much your dream, and that's not going to cause a fight or any kind of conflict. Sure, you can each take turns going on the kind of trip that one of you really wants, but that might cause some resentment and arguments. But chances are, you're going to fight because this is a common trigger point in a lot of couples. But things are much simpler and happier when you have this in common.
The truth is that while opposites do sometimes attract, having a totally different personality from your partner can cause a whole lot of problems. You are going to feel like you are a loser and like you are being insulted all the time. It is just much easier when you can both truly get along and really understand each other. Someone who has different interests is also most likely someone whose views are different from yours in one aspect or another.
This is an opportunity for you to see and understand things in a new light. Sam Landreth - www. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Sam Landreth — www.
You are constantly introduced to new things Having a partner who has different interests means that both of you get the chance to introduce each other to new things. You never run out of activities to do Being with someone who has opposite interests means you can take turns in deciding what kind of date you want to have. I'm not trying to be a jerk; I am just super frustrated and really despairing over this. I am not hung up on things like how much money a guy makes, whether he looks like a model or has six pack abs, if he is a doctor, lawyer, etc.
My idea of fun is not hanging out in bars, going out to Dave Matthews concerts, extreme outdoors activities every weekend, or planning my next international trip which will entail hang-gliding off of Mt. Kilimanjaro just to name a few cliche interests that seem to appear quite ubiquitously on online dating sites. So, any thoughts on this?
How important are common interests to the rest of you? Can anything else make up for it? Should I, at my age and with a desire to marry and have children just give up on this ideal, and settle on someone? Should I move out of the area as a way of having more options even though I've had quite a few people tell me I'm going to have the same problem no matter where I live?
I know that all sounds pretty bleak, but I don't know what else to do at this point. Any thoughts or advice are much, much appreciated. Your post made me laugh because it's true. All the hobbies you listed you forgot to mention the five million guys who are really into photography are really the new "I like to hang out in the garage with my power tools" which would honestly be preferable to another dude saying how he's so laid back and so adventurous. I think you just have to be yourself, go out with the guys you find physically attractive, and figure out if they're cool with you doing stuff you like while they're out hiking.
Some guys have friends they can do stuff with and other guys expect their romantic partners to actually share all of their interests because they're not that great at making close friends to do stuff with. You'll have to weed out the guys who aren't demanding that you hike Mt Everest with them while you're five months pregnant and won't resent you or look down on you for not fulfilling all of their entertainment needs.
My last boyfriend was much like yours, very similar common interests, a mutual obsession with work, lots to talk about but too caught up in drugs and alcohol. I used to think common interests were really important. Then my husband came along. If I'd seen him on a dating site, based on common interests, we'd almost certainly have rejected each other. I'm into creative pursuits, books, art, reading, cooking. He into finance, surfing, swimming, biking, poker, politics. Aside from watching movies in bed and a mutual love of, ahem, sex, we have very little in common.
But what we do share is similar values and morals and that makes all the difference in the world. I don't need to play poker with him or understand it, as long as he enjoys it and has people he can share it with, that's fine.
My girlfriend and I have no common interests
Now we have our baby son there's a common interest! Not being present for these activities also gives us something bring back and talk about that you might not get if you were always in each others pockets doing them together. From my point of view, being with someone who thinks so differently to myself and past partners has given me an added appreciation of each others differing points of view and opened me up to things I might not have considered before and people I would never normally be exposed to which is invaluable to growing as a person.
Common interests are useful as a springboard. I met my husband when we were training for a marathon.
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That meant that we spent hours together several days a week. Now we really don't have shared hobbies, but we like each other and know each other and are invested in each other's lives. Over time common interests become less important because you have shared experiences. But you have to leave room for the idea that you could teach them something new, or that they could do the same for you. Here are some things that I now totally love, which I had absolutely ZERO interest in before a boyfriend or hookup turned me on to them: My life is so much richer for all of these things.
If you think of yourself and the men you date as unchangeable, then yes- it may be hard to find a puzzle piece that clicks right into yours. Don't be a puzzle piece. So, it doesn't matter how important they are to strangers on the internet; what matters is how important they are to YOU. If you can't continue a relationship with someone because you don't like all the same stuff, it doesn't matter if I can. I've been with my husband for nine years now, and our interests are not really that similar to what they were when we met.
I was very into stuff that just doesn't seem that important to me any longer; he was mildly into things that have since become all-consuming passions. You never know how people are going to change. You might meet someone who has a ton in common with you, and find that once you're married he ends up leaving that stuff behind. Would this be a dealbreaker for you? If not, why not? Because you're making it a dealbreaker now.