That's subjective. What is long distance to me, could not be to you. A distance that would take effort and planning to cross. Dating and Relationships. How far .
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So I know its possible but it still was never my thing. First off, don't refer to it as long-distance. Do you know that the word long adj means: I prefer to call it "distant-dating". If I am going to date someone in a different city I wouldn't want to refer to it as "long" anything. Both parties need to be in a situation where they can afford to travel to and from and also have the time to do so. Lets be honest, if you aren't in a position to travel or don't have the time to do so then this will eventually get tough. Spending quality time is still a very important thing when dating.
Getting to see that person in different scenarios is key to the future in that relationship.
MORE IN LIFE
If you have a busy schedule and don't even have time as it is now, then unless something changes, you won't have time for this relationship either. Each person needs to be self-sufficient in terms of coping without human interaction. So simply put, if you thrive off of constant interaction which is fine then this is definitely not for you.
Some people, depending on their love language needs to be held, touch or face-to-face with their special someone constantly. If this is the case then distant-dating may be challenging for you. FaceTime will honestly have to be sufficient on those days where you just want to see that person or even get a hug. That is something you need to assess before getting involved with that person. That will indirectly cause all sorts of issues to arise in the relationship and will eventually make it sour. Coming to an understanding of long-term or short-term expectations and seeing what the plan would be.
Obviously people don't date to just date. And if they do then distant-dating would not be something they would be into.
Long-distance relationship
But prior to that, come to an understanding of some sort about how this whole thing would play out. How often will you see each other? Who is able to travel first? All of this is necessary because if there isn't a plan, you will find yourself on the MTV hit show Catfish. No seriously, have a plan!
It assures each person that you are committed on some level to doing this distant-dating adventure. Creating a middle spot or neutral ground for future plans. If you live in California and the other person lives in New York, what will be the middle spot or neutral ground once its time to take the relationship to the next level? You have to discuss that!
Now the timing on when to have this conversation is completely up to you and the other person but it does need to be acknowledged. Cali and New York are two completely different places in terms of culture. So if neither person is feeling either states then what will be the neutral ground? I promise you, this will save you so many arguments. Jobs, living situation, etc.
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Which is why you both will need to discuss this up front if this is going to work. If you begin an online dating relationship and know in your heart you will never relocate there is a good chance you've already determined the outcome of the relationship — especially if she or he has solidly established themselves as well.
According to Grant Langston, CEO of eHarmony , another factor that has a tremendous impact on whether or not a relationship will be able to handle long distance is the maturity of both parties involved. The more mature you are, the more you can delay gratification and put in the maintenance you need to stay in touch over the months [when you don't see each other].
You also have to be strong enough to resist temptation, which is typically more difficult that people think, and have tremendous trust in your partner. You're going to have to believe whatever your partner tells you about their habits and social life, and some people have a hard time doing that.
I started to become jealous, snarky. That was new territory for me because I was always the 'cool girlfriend'. I was angry with myself and he became annoyed with me understandably. That eventually led to several 'breaks' and eventually the final break-up. If you're going to try long distance, know that your relationship is going to change. Hopefully you'll be able to evolve together instead of letting the distance push you apart. If things are serious and you see a future, make sure to keep the other person your priority. Introduce them to any new friends because, inevitably there will be new friends , include them in any new routines, and visit as frequently as you can.
Whether it's accidental, spontaneous or planned, approaching the conversation about committing to a long-distance relationship with your partner requires a hard talk where you lay everything out on the table. Some people won't be able to handle a long-distance relationship, and they deserve to know quickly and bluntly so they can plan for the future. If they are content with long distance love, then they still need to organize practical matters like how often they plan to visit, how to keep connected, dividing up shared assets, and so on.
Matchmaker Susan Trombetti says that this also requires embracing the possibility that the feelings won't be mutual in your desire to continue the relationship over long distance. No hard feelings if this isn't for the other person.
Long-distance relationship - Wikipedia
You are sparing yourself the hurt and pain, so don't try to talk someone into having a long-distance relationship if it isn't in the cards for you. There are emotions which are hard to put aside to think what is best. Sure, you will miss each other if it doesn't work, but you will hate each other if one winds up cheating.
There is no choice other than sitting together and saying, 'I've gotten a new offer and I'm going to move. Let's make it work. I think we need to stop seeing each other. I also remember that, at the time, his answer was not immediate, or definitive. I know I was hurt by that at the time, but I think, looking back it was fairly mature of him not to lie to me. He had to think about it and decide whether or not he was willing to make that commitment.
By the time I was actually leaving, several months later, it wasn't even a question. We were both all in.
We talked about it and expressed to each other that we were both willing to do whatever it took to make it work. We actually even sought outside counseling to prepare us for this big change. Fortunately, technology makes sharing life moments easier than ever. Skype, FaceTime, and even various social media apps are a huge help.
However, it still takes effort since the distance can make feeling truly included in another person's life difficult.
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April Davis, relationship expert and founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking says working with your partner to set expectations can also help set couples up for success in a long-distance relationship. You don't need to be in constant communication, keep some of the mystery alive! For these guidelines, let each other know when is and when is not a good time to chat. Keep it fun and interesting, use the space to your advantage to miss and want each other that much more. Despite the challenges, keeping things fun and light will make it feel less stressful.
This keeps the romantic spark alive and makes a naturally stressful relationship more fun.