Sure, if she was really cool. I'm not going to lie, it wouldn't be ideal, but it's not something I couldn't look beyond for the right person.
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- Tips to Make Dating with Cerebral Palsy Less Intimidating
- Cerebral Palsy and Romantic Relationships | The Mighty
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My first piece of advice is to remember that everyone goes through the awkward stages of a new relationship and getting to know someone , regardless of disabilities. I clearly have a physical disability, but I used to think that it was best just to ignore that obvious fact unless my partner or potential partner wanted to talk about it.
But that makes the situation awkward for both sides of the relationship. The person with disabilities feels on guard, just waiting for the hammer to drop. Remember, they like you and have an interest in you, regardless of your disability.
Tips to Make Dating with Cerebral Palsy Less Intimidating
So, talk about it. You could always take the initiative and call to ask, or you could visit the places, of course. If you ask if they want to go, this leaves the conversation open to the ways of making the outing work. If you ask if they can go, your partner might suddenly feel uncertain or overwhelmed about how it could work.
My next piece of advice is to stay open — both of you.
I think, as someone with a disability, we can sometimes be a little cynical and assume the worst of people. If you need help, ask.
Your partner will be more than willing to help; this will become second nature over time anyway. The truth is that your partner wants to be treated just like everybody else — as a normal person. We are people first, before our disability. We can still do lots of things and we want to, we just may need a little extra help from time to time. One of the best things a person with disabilities can do not only for themselves but also for others, dating or not , is to have a response to the basic questions one hears all the time. How can I expect someone else to see my beauty and worth in a significantly smaller amount of time?
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But through being in various relationships, I have learned what it means to be in a relationship with someone who has a physical disability, specifically cerebral palsy. Loving someone with cerebral palsy does not mean you overlook their limitations. It does not mean you ignore the imperfections that make their body unique and different.
Cerebral Palsy and Romantic Relationships | The Mighty
Loving someone with a physical disability means you love them with their disability. It means you recognize that their disability is a part of them, nestled within their muscles and bones.
It means you know every aspect of their disability, and it only makes you want to be that much closer to them. It means you hold them when they are having muscle spasms or when their joints are on fire. It means you walk a few paces slower than most other folks do so your partner does not have to walk alone. It means you are with someone who may sometimes loathe what their body does to them, who may be ashamed of what their body looks like — and you cannot overlook that.
Loving someone with a disability means you understand that nothing in life is constant — including our own bodies and very beings. We are always changing and weakening. But when you are dating someone with a disability like cerebral palsy, those changes may happen at a more rapid pace, and loving them means you are attracted to their body during every stage. Loving someone with a disability means you may be their advocate.
It may mean you need to jump on a subway ahead of your partner so you can reserve a seat for them in the crowded car while they are still a few paces behind and boarding. It may mean you sometimes help your partner do daily tasks like cutting their fingernails or opening cans.
It may mean you massage their limbs while you have sex so they do not cramp up. It may mean you remind them often of how wonderful their body is despite their limitations, even when they do not see it themselves. Loving someone with a disability may mean you understand your own body more clearly. It may mean that you end up completely reevaluating and redefining how you understand bodies, strength, beauty and what partnership looks like. This love may allow you to expand your understanding of sex, intimacy, and co-partnership in a really beautiful way.
Most importantly, loving someone with cerebral palsy will mean something different for every person and couple. But no matter what, we are all worthy of love and marriage if that is the path we choose for ourselves.