Healing after dating a borderline

Along with individual and group therapies, couples therapy is often an integral part of healing from BPD.
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Often, we had our family or our job or our friends or activities in the center of our universe. Clearly, all these things change, so our lives are not stabile.

The Road and Travels Continue

However, I respect all religion, be it Buddhism, Christianity or any other religion, as long as the religion does not require violence and is based on love and spiritual fulfillment. There are many books that provide basic information on religion, but organized religion provides a solid foundation for healing. Good churches will actually help you get meaning, then will help you shed your pain, grow through your shortcomings and pains so you can see the world and live a more fulfilled life. Through a good church, you could: The list continues, but you see where I'm going here.

The right church for you, be it a Christian church, a Buddhist Temple, a Mosque or a Synagogue, will give you a good foundation.

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Spiritual fulfillment grounds you, takes yourself or your family or other distractions out of the center of our universe, and keeps us well-rounded and grounded. It's been a while since I've blogged -- life has gotten quite hectic. Work has been quite busy, and I've had a lot going on in my personal life. I also had some issues with Blogger -- namely, your comments haven't been coming through I always make approving your comments a top priority as I want to enable your conversations to continue without me -- I don't need to be involved.

My relationship with Jennie continues to flourish and grow; we haven't made plans for a wedding, but any day now, we'll tie the knot. My kids are good -- my oldest is now 16 and he acts like a full blown year-old, someone who can't stand the sight of his Dad on some moments and wants to fight everything I'm about one minute, then my best friend the next minute.

Passion and Fear in BPD Relationships

I cherish those best friend moments. My middle is his normal, consistent self, and my youngest is still Daddy's little girl. She plays the part -- and works her Dad -- real well, now that she's 11 and nearly I never thought that recovering from a crappy two year relationship would take so long, but clearly, the relationship was dysfunctional and it struck me hard. It made me question the way I thought, how I thought, and who I was.

It questioned my very foundation. In the end, I learned that I was a solid person, but it took me some time to recover fully. The more I walk on this earth, the more I realize how most people carry scars that immobilize them. They can't live full lives because of something that has happened to them.

We all have scars. We need to be able to look at the scars, remember the trauma, but move forward. If you heal correctly, you can become a better person than you ever were. You can grow to become the person that you've always dreamed of being. That person with solid self esteem and a sound foundation. I'm back from my summer vacation -- as I continue to recover, my topics will get less, so please, if you'd like to be a guest blogger, let me know.

Drop a line to mybpdrecovery gmail. I'd love to get some guest bloggers. That's right, it's been five years since I have been in that relationship.


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Ironically, I got a phone call from the police recently where she had contacted them accusing me of breaking into her computer, cyberstalking her and posting things using her Facebook account. She also accused me of breaking into her vehicle and marking up her seats. This had evidently not been the first time that she had contacted the police as they said that the year before, she accused me of slashing her tires. It's been a number of years since I contributed to this post as my life has moved on, and for the most part, I have recovered from the relationship.

It took time, it was very painful, it required counseling, but it can be done. For those of you that are just getting out, I have felt your pain, and it hurts, no matter what you do. The good part of it is that you can get through it, and the pain will get easier, and will eventually go away. Enjoy the journey, and keep laughing. I need to be sure to put this into the list of steps in recovering from the BPD -- or any -- relationship.

You need to exercise when recovering from a relationship. Exercise is an important element -- something that you need to do for yourself -- and will make you feel better about yourself, about your situation, about life. You just can't beat exercise: It's time where you get to focus on yourself It's time where you are working on your health and well being It's time where you get to concentrate and think about your world There are many different types of exercise, from running to swimming to bicycling and weight lifting.

There's one that fits your lifestyle and needs. Just start slow, and enjoy the time that you get doing it. I was thinking about the relationship that I was in with the BPD, and the more I think back about things, the more that I realize that she probably cheated on my, and I never knew it. I was ignorant, but when I think about it, the borderline got a sexually transmitted disease when we were together.

BPDs and Sexually Transmitted Diseases We had just moved in together, so I was a little in shell shock, a little still wearing rosy colored glasses, and in the midst of a 3 year divorce process, when the BPD contracts genital herpes. I was having major self esteem issues.

BPD Relationship Recovery - Me Project

Probably primarily because of the divorce that I was going through. Most likely I was subconsciously feeling like no one wanted to be with me, and this was how it was manifested. I let someone walk all over me. It's strange, but you still sometimes dream about the BPD. It was definitely strange. I'd rather have the temporary issues so I can feel better than ever. I've thought long and hard about this, and I've gotten many, many comments from BPDs over the years. I think I've published only one of their comments to date. You've gotten out or you are planning to get out of a relationship with someone who is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, or you have gotten out of a relationship in general.

You're healing, but you still hurt, Man, sometimes, the pain is pretty great. Still, you need something else.


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Spiritual Fulfillment Helps Make You Whole Most healthy humans walk around this earth looking for some type of purpose and reason. Once our basic needs are met, we need to fulfill our more advanced needs -- Abraham Maslow , in his Heirarchy of Needs , refers to it as Self Actualization.

What You Need to Know When Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

Why does this work? Spirituality helps us stabilize ourselves. The Basics of Religion and Sprituality There are many books that provide basic information on religion, but organized religion provides a solid foundation for healing. It allows the borderline an outlet for much of their obsessive behavior and attitudes, to the point of unhealthy. There are stories I haven't confirmed that BPDs will often join cults and other groups like this. So, it's now past 3 years since I last spoke with my ex BPD girlfriend.

I read back to my first post, Heal , and how I felt back then. I think about my life now, where I am, and how far I've come. It's been a long road, there were tough times along the way, but life is good.

Life is real good. Personal Life Update So, life has changed quite a bit recently. My love of music has continued to blossom and grow as my career thrives in a Consumer Electronics company. In addition, I'm playing guitar regularly with a group of folks that live near me. We played our first gig this past week and made a few hundred dollars -- not bad for a day's work when you're doing what you love to do. BPD Relationship Recovery Takes a Long Time I never thought that recovering from a crappy two year relationship would take so long, but clearly, the relationship was dysfunctional and it struck me hard.

I recently received an email which summed it all up: Keep the comments coming -- I'll do my best to publish them as quickly as possible. Look for the remaining 10 steps in the BPD Recovery process, look for more stories from each of you, and more details on the healing process. There are times that she haunts me in strange ways -- her sister was in a dream that I had over the weekend -- but no longer does her memory haunt me. I think that I've adopted pretty normal ways of living again and I'm in a high trust relationship -- the type of relationship that I demand so I can live a fulfilled life.

One reader wrote in about their relationship after it had terminated: It's within your reach. Now go get it. I've had a whirlwind summer, going all over the place, including the beach of North Carolina and many other exciting places. Time to get back to business. Where to Go From Here? This blog continues to grow in its readership, and I continue to get encouraging comments about the blog. Thanks to each of you about this.

How to heal after a Breakup with someone suffering with BPD

I've been trying to move the blog over to another platform at www. So, I'm in a bit of a quagmire.