When you find out the guy youre dating has a girlfriend

Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › What to do if you find out he has a Been dating someone casually (but still) for over a year and find out he has a He'll probably frame you as some desperate girl he blew off and.
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• 5 Real Reasons Guys Cheat on Girlfriends
• Found out a guy I'm dating is dating someone else, what to do now?
• Do You Have Feelings For Him?
• He Keeps Flirting With You, but You Found Out He Has a Girlfriend
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So, I have simplified the WHY of cheating by whittling it down to five things. This is not intended to be a complete list, mind you. I think the 2 main reasons why guys cheat goes like this: Miss Insecurity is dating Mr. Self-Confident, and with that relationship, she is trying desperately to plug some pretty big holes in her own self-esteem.

She becomes obsessed with her boyfriend. You know how that usually turns out…clinginess, jealousy, anger, tears. Self-Confident too hard about his commitment. She would prefer to assume or in some cases, dream he is as committed to her as she is to him. They wait for a while, giving promises of everlasting love til they finally get what they want. Then they stick around a little longer and say Hey!

Then there are guys who are very willing to talk about the relationship. Some girls give a lot and put up with a lot in order to get what they want most…the relationship. And most often in the end they end up with a broken heart. On the other hand, some guys including the ones more likely to cheat come at it from the other direction.

He wants sex, even if he has to give some relationship to get it. But cheating violates the relationship, not the sex. To put it bluntly… guys cheat because the relationship was never their goal…it was the sex. Remember, guys are not that complex. You probably know about some girls who stalk guys like sexual predators- they try in every way they can to get them to cheat. Generally speaking, guys who grow up in homes where their parents cheat, find it much easier to do the same thing. Counselor Gary Neuman asked cheating and non-cheating husbands about why they cheated.

Some guys give in easily to the temptation to cheat because that is what their friends and family do. Do you remember Tiger Woods? He was married to one of hottest women on the planet, but he was a big-time cheater with lots of women. The guy cheated once, then twice, then three times.

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It became easier and easier to give in, harder and harder to say no. If you are dating a guy who cheated before, there is a good chance he will cheat on you too, even if from the beginning he never planned it that way. If he has cheated more than once, it is even more likely that it will happen again. I believe sometimes people are truly ashamed of a choice they made and would like to undo the past.

My point in this blog is to point out things to look for and consider if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who cheats. Ladies you need to be wiser when it comes to that scenario always trust your instincts. Once you caught him you can forgive him but the second time you caught him he made a choice already. Cheating is always a choice its never an accident its just like temptation.

So why make your life harder when it is already so difficult at this moment? As for his girlfriend, she may already know someting. I am so sorry you had to face this. Yes, it is a tuff decision because she might blame you. Just trying to envision the scenario. I would want to know if I were her — you may not have been the first, and you may not be the last. One of my best friends was in a relationship with a guy for over 10 years — they lived long distance for a lot of it due to school and their careers.

This is a guy that flew across the country to come to my wedding with her — they were serious by all accounts. I think he was dating three women at times. He was also embezzling money from his employer and other business associates. If I were her, I would definitely want to know. My best friend was in a similar situation with a married guy.

He had two young children under the age of 4. He even went as far to tell my friend that he was divorcing her he never had intentions to. His wife had leukemia to make it worse and he was cheating with 3 other women as well. My friend went as far as screen shotting the text exchanges that she had with the guy some included naked pictures and his responses and sending them to his wife.

VERY hurt, but thankful. Its a bad situation all around. No one wants to be the bearer of bad news, but you may be doing her a favor. As for you, I would stop all contact with him. So sorry that happened to you. I actually heard a podcast about this situation a while ago.

Do You Have Feelings For Him?

The questions to ask would be why are you doing telling on him? Is it because you feel responsibility for a woman you have never met? It will only serve to cause her grief. The relationship between you and this man is over. Cut ties with him and move on. I was cheated on in the past and found out from one of my best friends. However, not sure how I would have taken it if a stranger had contacted me out of the blue and told me.

Exit the situation gracefully with your dignity in tact. This is on him. Let him do the dirty work. But given the circumstances, especially the fact that you did not know, any communication you have with this woman could be construed as jealousy. In my experience with these things, women hate women first. Thanks to everyone for their thoughtful comments and advice.

So sad for all.

I found out in an odd way. I thought he blocked me which he did and denied and I saw her name on a social media account. Just random as if it were divine intervention. I did some investigating and bam! I feel so violated…party to a crime I never wanted to commit.

This guy must be a sociopath. I have had this happen to me except I was the girl friend and I was sooooo glad to find out. I felt empowered by the knowledge I had to leave him. I was written an anonymous email.

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Something along the lines of you seem like a great girl — and i think you have every right to know you are being lied to. You are not the only person in your bfs life and I think you have the right to know as I believe hes led you onto think otherwise. I was in total disbelief but really appreciated it. She had no clue about me. And we all moved onwards and upwards to better things… However which way you decide to go about it, I think its fair to release people from a trap….

But thats just me. It sounds from what you wrote, you had to ask him several times if he was with someone and even contemplated breaking things off. That suggests to me that you DID have a gut feeling or other evidence that he was probably at least seeing another woman. You know nothing about their relationship so I would stay out of it.