Emotional intelligence and dating

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by your emotions that you said or did With good reason, emotional intelligence (EQ) is a concept that has become.
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The foundation of EQ is self-awareness, as having a deep understanding of yourself provides you with more accurate perceptions of how you are coming across to others. To increase your self-awareness, make an effort to reflect on your strengths, developmental opportunities, triggers, values, and the like, so that you are intimately familiar with what makes you tick. Emotionally intelligent people are receptive to hearing and considering others' feedback. While you may or may not agree with others' points of view, weighing their feedback can help you guard against blind spots and assist you in recognizing if your behaviors are having effects you are intending.

5 Ways To Master Emotional Intelligence

If they aren't, you can adjust your actions or apologize accordingly or mindfully choose not to do either. But either way, you are protecting yourself against denial, and are increasing your EQ no matter what. Do this particularly when you feel yourself experiencing strong emotions. If a co-worker makes a comment that really triggers you, make a mental note of what exactly it is that you might be feeling. Not only will this help you to develop your emotional vocabulary, it will also help you to take a step back from your reactions and engage the parts of your brain associated with problem-solving.

That way, you can make better sense of your emotions and use them to your advantage when making choices about how to interact with others. Jon Kabat-Zinn , a pioneer in the field of mindfulness defines the term very simply: By learning to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can increase your awareness of them with more clarity, rather than having them blurred by the baggage of your assumptions. In other words, mindfulness decreases the odds of your being unknowingly high-jacked by negative emotions.

We experience emotions physically. So when we are stressed emotionally, our bodies react on an evolutionary level as if we were responding to a threat in nature. But if we can calm our body's reaction to our stress, the emotional component is mitigated. So nip your body's stress in the bud, and you'll find that your emotional stress will decrease accordingly.

When you feel tense, breathe slowly and deeply , concentrating on letting the air flow in and out of your abdominal cavity.

Why Emotional Intelligence Is Essential In Modern Dating

After a few minutes, you will likely find yourself feeling like there's more space in your mind and heart, an undeniably a better state from which to have constructive interactions with others. Recognize that there are multiple ways of looking at any given situation.

So, instead of succumbing to a knee-jerk negative reaction when you become upset by someone else's actions, slow down and consider if there are other ways of explaining the situation. Of course, anger is a constricting emotion, so we often feel stubbornly attached to our particular stories around a given situation. But if you can, at least try this exercise.

That fight that quickly escalated? That fear of being abandoned that stems from your upbringing or past relationships? Emotions drive the most connecting and destructive encounters in a relationship. Knowing how to sit with these emotions and react to them appropriately is your most valuable skill in a budding relationship and in life! One way to do this is through practicing refraining and self-compassion. Easier said than done, I know.

2. Emotional intelligence is important for reacting intentionally.

A trick I use is to envision actually making space for emotion as it comes — I imagine that it is expanding in a contained bubble outside of me. Then, I practice self-compassion by empathizing with myself and saying internally what I might say to a friend in the same situation. Anyone else in your shoes would. In order to date successfully, you have to be open to rejection. You'll impulsively delete all your apps after a first date doesn't call you back. In order to be open to rejection, you must be able to cope with your emotions mindfully and with self-compassion.

4 Easy-to-Spot Signs You're Dating an Emotionally Intelligent Person

My latest course will walk you through how to do so. Whether you've been in a relationship with someone for a few dates or a few years, emotional intelligence is essential to being a supportive partner. You need to have the ability to empathize. They are aware and able to make sense of their emotions in a way that keeps your relationship, and both of your well beings, sound and stable.


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With emotionally intelligent people, your feelings will never go unnoticed and your thoughts will never be unheard. No matter how catastrophic or tiny your problems, fears, anxieties, or heartache may be, emotionally intelligent partners will stand by your side. They will take on your pain with you. They will make sure you never feel alone.

Emotionally intelligent people have no problems when it comes to communication. Along the same lines as communication, emotionally intelligent people crave vulnerability. They want to peel back the layers and get to know someone beyond the surface, and they long to be understood in that same, deep way. They know that a relationship thrives on letting one another in, and they will make that happen with you by showing you their true selves all the time. They are ready and willing to step forward with you, to trust, to feel.

And this fearlessness when it comes to letting someone in is both beautiful, and contagious. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway , a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming. The cover and theme for my newest book was inspired by the concept of kintsugi.