Dating someone who doesnt have herpes

When someone is first diagnosed, the thought of dating with herpes can When those other things are true, a herpes diagnosis often doesn't.
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I would not add the stress of an STI to the stress of a potential future blended family. That's just my personal choice though.

Why Should I Date Someone With Herpes?

Some people choose not to date a smoker. I wouldn't date someone with a recurring STI like herpes, especially not now that I'm a mom. But to each her own! I have herpes and want to let you know that it isn't as big of a deal as it is made out to be. There is a huge negative stigma surrounding the virus. It is more of a nuisance than anything. I got the herpesvirus when I was 19 years old, I am 31 now. I have not had an outbreak in over two years, I recently delivered a happy healthy baby vaginally, and no one I have ever been with has contracted the virus. I met my husband over 4 years ago.

We only used protection in the beginning of our relationship. Your partner should know when an outbreak is going to come on and then you would abstain from sex. You should talk to him and ask questions, he should be open about everything. You can even talk to your doctor.

It is a virus that is quite easy to manage. I'm sure you already know this but cold sores are a form of the herpesvirus as well. If you have any other questions I would be happy to answer them. I think the bit about having your child near them is a bit much I think that's quite an overreaction.

I have no idea what I'd do in that situation. As previous posters have said the other thread asking the same was really good and, I'd imagine, very helpful to someone in your position. I remember there were many replies that said they had been with their husband with herpes for years and through medication and avoiding sex when he can feel a breakout happening, they had never actually caught it from them. I've read articles of toddlers having breakouts on their mouths from being kissed by people with the virus. Sorry I wouldn't take the chance. I have an extreme anxiety disorder, it wouldn't work for me.

The thing that would worry me is: What if it doesn't work out and you do catch it? What if you were to catch something you are left with for the rest of your life for someone who you aren't even with anymore? That's great that he is being upfront and honest with you and that he is on medication!

How can you trust that he always takes his medicine and not forget to take it? Yes that can happen, but if he has genital herpes he may not get cold sores that would pass on from kissing her child. Guarantee there is some person in your family that has kissed your child that has it since it's so incredible common. Yes herpes is an STI but it's more common than people think!


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You might even be surprised to learn that your partner has been equally concerned about telling you that they have genital herpes or another sexual infection. In fact, the probability of this is reasonably high, given the statistics on HSV.

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People may just need a little time to assimilate the information. This is where having good written information helps. Consider giving them reading material or referring them to a Sexual Health Centre, the Herpes Helpline. Whatever the reaction, try to be flexible. Remember that it took you time to adjust as well. Negative reactions are often no more than the result of misinformation.

3 Ways to Prevent Passing Herpes to Your Partner

It takes a lot more than the occasional aggravation of herpes to destroy a sound relationship. Some people react negatively no matter what you say or how you say it. Others might focus more energy on herpes than on the relationship. These people are the exception, not the rule. This is not a reflection on you. You are not responsible for their reaction.


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If your partner is unable to accept the facts about herpes, encourage him or her to speak with a medical expert or counsellor. The majority of people will react well.

Dating someone with herpes?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect

They will respect the trust you demonstrate in sharing a personal confidence with them. With the proper approach and information, herpes can be put into perspective: Regarding the relationship overall, know that you can have the same level of intimacy and sexual activity that any couple can.

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It is true that in an intimate sexual relationship with a person who has herpes oral or genital , the risk of contracting herpes will not be zero, but while there is a possibility of contracting herpes this is a possibility for any sexually active person. And the person may unwittingly already have been exposed to the herpes virus in a previous relationship. All relationships face challenges, most far tougher than herpes.

Good relationships stand and fall on far more important issues — including communication, respect and trust. Whether or not this relationship works out, you have enlightened someone with your education and experience about herpes, correcting some of the myths about herpes that cause so much harm.

You have removed the shroud of silence that makes it so difficult for others to speak. And you have confronted a personal issue in your life with courage and consideration. Your partner has genital herpes. Your support is very important in helping you and your partner to understand what this means. When your partner goes back to the doctor, you may wish to go too, so that you can find out more about the herpes infection. In the meantime, here are answers to some questions you may have. Genital herpes is a common infection generally transmitted through sexual contact.

It is caused by one of two members of a family of viruses which also include the viruses causing chickenpox and shingles, and glandular fever. Usually, genital herpes is caused by infection with herpes simplex virus type 2 HSV-2 , and studies suggest that in some countries, one in five people are infected with this virus.

Genital herpes, for most people, is an occasionally recurrent, sometimes painful condition for which effective treatment is now available. Anyone who is sexually active is at risk of catching genital herpes, regardless of their gender, race or social class.

Dating someone with herpes??

Genital herpes can be transmitted through direct contact with an infected blister or sore, usually through sexual contact. It can also be transmitted when there are no symptoms present. HSV-2 infection is usually passed on during vaginal or anal sex. HSV-1 is usually transmitted by oral sex mouth to genital contact.

If your partner has only just been diagnosed as having genital herpes, this does not necessarily mean that he or she has been unfaithful to you, or sexually promiscuous in the past.