Dating a much older married man

I'm 20, he's 50 and married. How's this gonna work out? Wednesday, July 18, by Dan Savage in Arts & Leisure. Getty Images/iStockphoto.
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In this case, it might even be a bit more reassuring knowing that he is probably only with one other woman. His mother, siblings, children, friends, and co-workers will need his attention at times as well. The fact that a man, who is already taken, is interested in you means you probably have something special that makes him want to cheat on his wife for you. Him wanting you will make you feel desirable, unique and totally sexy.

A married man has so much to lose by sneaking around with you. He has a family, social status, friends, and a career that can all be affected if someone finds out about your relationships. This is what draws so many young women into relationships with married men. Younger, single guys have a lot less to lose when dating you. While married men can lose basically their whole world if he gets caught. Dating a married man will make you feel wanted and important. You are not his first priority.

His wife, kids, and job will always come first. You can continue to enjoy the fun and discreet relationship you two are having, while still putting yourself first. You can do whatever you like without worrying about how your actions affect him. Whether you enjoy going to the spa, over spending at the mall, or partying it up every night, your decisions will be made to benefit you.

Being in your 20s is such a pivotal time to be selfish and only really look out for yourself. Dating a married man lets you do this. Since married men have a wife, sometimes kids, and a career, he will not disclose your relationship to anyone. While some women may prefer to showoff their relationships, others like to keep theirs a secret. For those women who like to keep their private lives, well private, they will love the discreetness of this type of relationship.

That means there will not be any cute couple photos posted on social media, you wont be able to introduce each other to your friends, and dates must also go unnoticed by others. You can date a married man without having your family, friends, and acquaintances constantly getting involved and sharing their opinion on your relationship.

What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man | PairedLife

Almost everyone goes into a relationship with some expectations. Growing up, we are brainwashed into believing that we need some sort of fairytale-type relationship. You know, the type of relationship where you meet your prince charming, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after in some beautiful castle.

These type of relationships are unrealistic and expectations like these can leave you feeling unsatisfied with your love life.


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When you date a married man, there are absolutely no expectations to begin with. You can just enjoy the relationship for what it is instead of what you want it to be.

Why Do Women Choose Older Men?

Being with a married man is one of the only types of relationships where both partners knowingly see other people. You get to date other people without the regret or guilt you would have if you were in an exclusive relationship. For a young woman in her 20s, these types of relationships can be a lot less stressful than ordinary ones. So, you would think that every relationship needs a strong foundation built on trust.

But, you are dating a married man. But, since you entered the relationship having little trust to begin with, you wont get hurt if it suddenly goes sour. But, dating a married man in your 20s might give you a glimpse into what married life might be like. You will learn about the financial, emotional, sexual, and intimate support marriages need in order to strive. Maybe dating a married man will encourage you to get married in the future or it might turn you off from marriage entirely.

How Much Older Are We Talking?

Even though all husbands are different, dating a married man will still give you a peek at some of the common traits you will see in most marriages. You can even learn from some of the mistakes your married man is making in his relationship, so that when you wed, you can avoid those same problems. Unless your man is lying to you about his marital status, you should be well aware that he has a wife.

Knowing that you can never fully have him, you might as well just enjoy the relationship for what it is. You are just having fun together. Sometimes these are the best relationships to have in your 20s. You know exactly what the relationship is and you can just enjoy the freedom of it. If you adopt the right outlook, this can be the most freeing situation.

Affair Survival: Tips For Dating a Married Man

You're in a "no strings attached" scenario, so there's really no commitment here. He pissed you off?


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Did something you didn't like? Just make like a basketball and bounce the hell outta there. You're not the one wearing a wedding ring, are you? You've made zero promises and signed zero contracts. So, enjoy all the freedom and immerse yourself in the present moment. This is suppose to be a fun and experimental time period for you. If things become too dramatic or tough, just remember this isn't your battle to fight and simply eject yourself. You don't need to deal with anyone turning extra on you. Sometimes, all a girl needs is someone to show her a little guidance to kick her off onto the right start.

Some women unfortunately aren't born with role model women around them; a mother who isn't so stylish, a sister who they cannot confide in for relationship advice, or a friend who doesn't know all the juicy secrets on how to make a guy squirm in bed. Thus, hopefully at some point in her young adult life, she will meet a man who will turn things around for her. He might be the lantern in the dark, finally showing her the path of sexy womanhood.

A married man is likely to be more patient with you, not only being more knowledgeable but willing to take the time to show you all the ways of becoming a hot mama in bed. And, before you know it, you'll be the GOAT in the sheets. Since they were very young girls, some women know exactly when they want to get married, what kind of husband they want, how many kids they'd like, how the wedding will be, and what kind of a wife they'll become.

They'll have every last detail down-pat, including the wedding diamond cut and dress style. Some women, on the other hand, have no flippin' idea when they want to get married, or even if they ever want to get married.


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These confused souls are the ultimate candidates for getting a bit wild in their 20s. They need to experience as many things as possible in order to better identify what they want out of life. Maybe you'll have the opportunity to play a little game of house together. Having an involvement with a married man might help understand and discover what kind of wife they'd be or how to effectively please their own future husband. Older married men are a whole separate category than men in their 20s.

Again, due to their experience, a married man in his 30s might be an excellent companion and lover. He will already know all the things you hate that guys in their 20s do. He won't be overly clingy, but yet he might send you a sweet text or e-mail during the day to let you know you're on his mind. He's perceptive and he'll know the importance of paying attention to the little details.

The little things go a long way, and young guys don't always seem to get that. He'll most certainly introduce you to the restaurants he enjoys, the genres of music he's into, and what exactly makes his heart beat faster when it comes to bedroom fun. He's most likely going to be much more sophisticated, while remaining low-key, than a twenty-something guy would ever be.

7 Reasons why married men look for a lover

Most important point of them all: Messing with a cheater is the most effective way to uncover exactly all the tricks of a cheater. Befriend the enemy in order to beat them.