Bosses dating employees

boss. By Monster Career Coach Dear Monster: Around four months ago a colleague I work with, let's call All I can say is that before they started dating, things were calm and my job was going great. Being an outstanding employee helps.
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She has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from the University of Wisconsin and a Master of Arts in organizational management from the University of Phoenix. Skip to main content. What Will Co-workers Think? Keeping it Professional Even in environments where relationships are permitted in the workplace between managers and subordinates, those involved in these relationships need to maintain a professional distance while on the job. If the Relationship Ends Not all relationships last forever, of course, but if and when the relationship between manager and subordinate ends, the work relationship may need to continue.

19 Risky Employees Reveal That They're Dating Their Bosses

About the Author Leigh Richards has been a writer since Photo Credits romantic date image by Monika Olszewska from Fotolia. Accessed 16 January There are some good answers here from the company point of view, but look at it from the human point of view, too:. I know I leave a great deal of my personal interests in the parking lot when I arrive to work. I focus on my work and ensuring that I am supporting my coworkers and meeting my objectives. I don't bring much else. Since you are a business owner, I imagine you are much the same.

Your employee may also be the same, meaning everything you see about them "lines up" with you, but you are both likely leaving a huge amount of who you are outside the workplace unexamined.

19 Risky Employees Reveal That They're Dating Their Bosses

How do you even know you would be compatible? How could you ever have a relationship of equals when you have power over their means to make a living? The power dynamic in a relationship can get really messed up if there is a disparity in income between the two.


  • Prohibited by Policy?!
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  • Manager & Employee Dating.

You are the income source for the other person. How could you ever hope to have an equal, balanced relationship? You would feel personally betrayed if they took it.


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    4. They would be resentful if they didn't take it because of this relationship. No one would ever have a "gripe session" about the company with them.

    No one would trust them with any confidence, believing and rightfully so they were more loyal to you than anyone else. I'm sure you're the world's greatest boss, but running a business means making your employees unhappy in order to satisfy your customers. That's why you have to pay employees in the first place. Would you avoid giving them difficult assignments or "problem" customers in order to safeguard your relationship. Maybe not consciously, but it would happen. Your interest is always late, but you cut them some slack because you took them out the evening before and you feel it's partially your fault.

    Bob isn't getting a fair shake. Now, the only way to fix this is to not work at the same company. Who has to leave and who gets to stay? Who gets to pick? In your case, you and the company are the same thing, but not so in most situations. Say I'm a rock-star senior salesman, been in the biz 20 years and have 5 or 6 million in annual sales that I bring in. You're an inside sales rep who answers to me supporting my customers.

    We get serious, and it becomes a problem in the workplace. You would have a hard time finding another job in a slow economy, but I can hop over to "Brand X" and bring at least 2 million in sales with me.

    Harassment Claims and Preferential Treatment

    Brand X says, "Great. How do you think your chances of promotion are, now? That's why intra-office dating is never a good idea. Working with a spouse is another potential disaster, but for entirely different reasons. In the case of two people who happen to be employed by the same company, but don't have any work relationship, it's mostly Ok, at least as long as their relationship is fine, and even after that, if they manage to separate cleanly - which many people manage to do, and if one or both can't, then you had troublesome people anyway.

    The exception is companies that are very security conscious, for example a bank, which may have lots of protections against crooked employees, but not against two crooked employees working together. In the case of supervisor and subordinate: That is asking for serious trouble, because that supervisor is always in danger of giving preferential treatment to their relationship, which then will cause trouble for everyone involved and around them.

    So a company will try to split them up. Which will hamper someone's career. Which is Ok-ish if you are getting married I would still have married my wife if it had cost one of us our jobs, and she would have married me , but for a fresh relationship that is very bad.

    In the case of company owner and subordinate: For the subordinate it's a very dangerous game. Worse than supervisor and subordinate, because there is no HR or boss stopping the company owner, if things go wrong. For the boss it's a huge opportunity to demonstrate either that he or she is a decent human being, or that he or she is no such thing. In the case of supervisor: So this should only be done if both sides are really, really sure that this is the one.

    On the other hand, if two people seriously want to be in a relationship, their jobs shouldn't stop them. In that case you both do your best to stay professional while persuing your relationship, and accept the consequences. By clicking "Post Your Answer", you acknowledge that you have read our updated terms of service , privacy policy and cookie policy , and that your continued use of the website is subject to these policies.

    Home Questions Tags Users Unanswered. Why are romantic relationships with someone who works under you discouraged? Rachel 6, 8 42 Hi Dave, I've modified your question to address the concerns raised by Chad, and have voted to reopen it. If I've changed it too much from your original question, feel free to edit it further or roll back the changes.

    That's easy and it can be answered in three words so I won't post it as an actual answer "Conflict of interest". Even if you are "sure" that you can handle things professionally and keep work and social life separated. Don't forget that a relationship consists of two people. I knew this PhD guy once.

    His wife was also a PhD in the same field. They met and started dating when she was studying under him. How could THAT go wrong, right? They probably broke all sorts of university regulations and crossed a bunch of boundaries. But hey, happily married with 2 kids. Dating subordinates is almost always a bad idea, except when it's a great idea.

    Now 6 months later have you found out? Ok let's be blunt and share some of the negative consequences I have personally experienced or observed from bosses dating their subordinates: I have seen people promoted over qualifed people to jobs they were neither qualified for nor good at. I have seen an unsatisfactory performance appraisal which was well-deserved be changed to an Outstanding I have seen more qualifed people quit rather than work for the unqualifed person promoted over them I have seen a co-worker flash her sexual parts in a meeting after she and the boss had had a fight.

    To say this made everyone else in the room uncomfortable is a mild understatement. Relationships between supervisors and subordinates create even more potential problems. In a better scenario, coworkers would find it easier to claim that an employee received preferential treatment from a supervisor he or she is dating. In a poorer scenario, the relationship would end badly, one of the employees could claim that the relationship was non-consensual, or that sexual harassment existed.

    An employee could even make a case for unlawful retaliation if he or she receives a poor performance review from a former lover or if a co-worker receives a better evaluation from his or her boss. There are a few different ways to manage this liability. When it comes to workplace dating policies, here are a few basic options:.

    Generally, policies cover not only employees, but also contractors, vendors, suppliers, manufacturers, and the like. Essentially, any relationship between two people that could have a negative effect on the company if things sour, or if one party is able to improperly influence the other would fall under the policy. One last generally acceptable rule: Even if it does not violate a written policy, your boss the CEO or the board might not care, and view it as a lack of senior management acumen. I tend to sound like a broken record when it comes to company policies.

    So here it goes again: In my opinion, failure to equitably enforce a corporate policy is often worse than not having one. When it comes to workplace dating policies, here are a few basic options: You can do nothing. This seems to be the overwhelming favorite for smaller companies or companies that are just starting to formalize employee training. Often a CEO or president will look at the potential for risk and weigh that against the ability to police and enforce a policy.

    For many smaller companies, they choose to go without a policy, and let the rules on harassment and discrimination do the job.

    Note that you should always have a policy prohibiting and enforcing sexual harassment and discrimination.