As a guy, it is easy to be roped into dating someone that doesn't quite fit your idea of what an “ideal mate” might be. While it has been my.
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In either case the way to overcome this resistance is to hold firm in your belief that the age difference between the two of you is no big deal. This makes it possible for her to follow your lead and adopt that same view. There is however, one difference in meeting younger women that you should keep in mind. Younger women tend to have a stronger desire towards new experiences. What this means is that when you meet a younger women in a situation like this, make a point to get her phone number early in the interaction.
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A website by Thought. She has champagne tastes on a PBR budget. Lying, stealing, and cheating. She has a severe case of FOMO. She consistently talks about her ex-boyfriends. She is unable to speak in a logical fashion about anything. She seeks the attention of others via massive amounts of selfies. Whatever it is that's most important to you, make that the priority, and everything else is just a bonus.
You can't say "I demand the most important trait I look for I want it all. What you're reading as cynical is probably just being a lot less willing to put up with bullshit. By the time you're in your late twenties, you should have a pretty decent idea of what you want out of a relationship, and are much less willing to beat around the bush with somebody who's suboptimal, and are much less willing to be treated in a way that you're not happy with.
What you're reading as 'positive attitude' and 'lower maintenance' is often 'naive' and 'willing to be pushed around'. They'll put up with a lot more from whoever they're dating, since they haven't developed the maturity to push back against things they don't think are fair. Older women, on the other hand, don't want to act like your mother, or a sex doll, or contort themselves into something that fits into your lifestyle.
And from what I've seen, they're happier for not settling. This happens with both genders by the way. Young people in relationships put up with a whooooole lot more bullshit than older ones. I think people need to be more accountable for their own relationship failings. You can't be 31 on Tinder asking "where have all the good men gone? But let's just use what you said for second.
The whole, older women know what they want and are just less tolerant when it comes to bullshit. I have a friend who was in a LTR but recently broke up and was back on the dating scene. He was dating two girls, one his age, one younger. This was the experience he had:. Now, you can say that's just a personality difference between two women and age plays no role. You can say that the older woman is more assertive and that's a positive trait to have - but I will tell you as a single, 28 year old man with similar men as friends: It wears on you. Why would I pull teeth with one girl when another girl is good to go in most situations no questions asked?
And don't confuse this with the girl being naive and overall not having her own thoughts. She just picks her battles.
Dating Younger Women - Too Good to Be True?
With women my age, they fight on a lot of little things in some sort of power dynamic where they want to remind you "you're not getting over on me" in every situation. It's a turn off. Your situation literally tells me the older woman might have shit to do while the younger one is idle and up for whatever. Yeah, I'm not reading a power struggle. She just doesn't want to commit to an activity that she has no interest in, or doesn't fit in her schedule.
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If you're just seeing someone casually, there's no real reason to do something you're not interested in or rearrange your day to accommodate the other person. Don't go in assuming that the other person's time and interest are less valuable than yours. Negotiating to something that works for both people isn't a power struggle, it's just respectful. When OP said "requirements for a man actually increase ," he wasn't kidding.
There are plenty of women who are not crazy, and after 30 there are some reasonable demands, because a guy who doesn't have his own place and car after 30 is probably doing something wrong.
And yes, pointing out "I don't get along with X" and "I don't find Y" attractive is perfectly reasonable. But let's say it's a 35 year old asking for this, and they have a retail job and rent a shitty little apartment and they're kind of overweight and all they have going on in their life is their "fur baby" rat dog, a Netflix subscription, and a boxed wine habit.
There are dudes out there with money, no kids, good bodies, and great personal lives. We aren't, generally, interested in flabby 35 year olds with laundry lists of requirements when there's hardbody 25 year olds with degrees and good eating and exercise habits and a willingness to ignore our indulging in a couple of stupid hobbies they don't care about.
Hell, there's hardbody 35 year olds out there with degrees and good eating and exercise habits and fun attitudes, and they don't care about bullshit hobbies or our disinterest in taking them to Paris or whatever. I think there's a difference between young people in relationships being willing to put up with shit they definitely shouldn't put up with, and people in general demanding more than they can offer. For the record, 'cause I've been emphasizing the other side, I think having a physical type and not wanting to carry the economic burden in the relationship and wanting someone who has their shit together is totally legitimate.
There's just a difference between "well, I'm not into short guys and I want someone who has an established career" and 15 items that includes taste in music.
Welcome to Reddit,
The world is full of people with unrealistic expectations on both sides. For men, the unrealistic requirements are usually a perpetual hottie who can bankroll his hobbies and who has no children, opinions, or goal in life other than serving 'her man', despite the fact that they've spent the past 10 years sitting around with their thumb up their ass and their biggest accomplishment is a sizable beer gut.
It's not a gender-specific thing to think that you deserve more than you offer, but a human nature thing. I agree fully with "The world is full of people with unrealistic expectations on both sides. That's why my long-ass list isn't "must have everything on this list", it's "any 3 or more things on this list". They they will go online and bitch and moan about how they are doomed to be forever alone, and that guys hate strong women.
In my again small experience she gets it from being tired of struggle with low paying job, paying for rent and just want a man with everything so she doesn't have to worry about all this adult stuff. Also she sees her friends getting men with everything of this and her standards increase along. Which I understand but fuck this.
Dating younger girl
I have to work my ass off and you don't? I can understand when a woman worked hard and just wants a man on the same level as she tho. It just depends, like you said. Most women want to get married. You will experience this. There are women as young as 21 who demand it immediately.
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There are also older women who don't want it. If someone tells you what they're looking for, respect that and accept it or just move on? You're not entitled to have a beautiful woman spend time with you and sleep with you. Maybe you can go for someone who doesn't have options or any self-esteem, but I'm guessing the girl you want isn't that girl.